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Page 1 of 2 Quick Thoughts
Before you tie those shoe laces, pour that glass of milk, or make that left turn in your car, there's a speedy little powerhouse message fired in the brain called a "quick thought." It originates from an actions monitor in the brain that has a vast informational database. A quick thought is fast, like a house fly buzzing by unexpectedly. The older a quick thought is, the faster it flies by. In addition, older quick thoughts have very well established flight paths.
Before any action of any kind is taken by you, the actions monitor looks in the database and fires off a set of preconditioned instructions (a quick thought) to aid you in the action you are about to take. The route taken by a quick thought is:
Flying from the database, to join the action about to be taken, and returning to the database for use the next time. The whole process happens in the blink of an eye.
Now what if I were to say to you that the database is out of date? And, the only way to update the database was to catch a quick thought, interrogate it, update it and then let it return to the database.
The object here is to use a little mental fly paper to detain a quick thought. Then, each time you catch one, ask it this question:
Is the informational cargo you are carrying true?
If you find that it is not, replace the old information with the new information and allow the quick thought to return to the database which will update the database the next time this quick thought comes buzzing by.
It takes time to examine quick thoughts, but with a little practice and patience, you will be able to update the database. And, if you miss a few, don't worry; it will fly by again and give you plenty of chances to catch it and update date it.
Nurture the feelings
Nurturing the feelings that emerge during expulsion is important. It's a slow process of gently letting go of the old addict's belief system and trading it in for a new nurturing belief system. The transition is gradual. The transition is tiring. The transition is scary.
Trading one belief system for another is scary, frustrating, and generally "sucks" from time to time. I can choose to exchange one belief system for another at a rate equal to the safety I perceive in the transition. The transition will occur at it's own rate of acceptable and safe limits for each individual. The old belief system I used to operate with before recovery was (from Section I):
The Old Belief System
(The Addict's Belief System)
Having Bad Feelings or making Bad Choices is equated to Abuse
Abuse is equated to the need to Survive
In order to Survive, Bad Feelings and Bad Choices must be Avoided At All Costs.
(The expression or recognition of bad feelings and bad choices must be avoided in order to survive)
The new belief system that I'm exchanging in for the old system is:
The New Belief System
(The Nurturing Parent Belief System)
Having Feelings and Making Choices equate to Loving Care of Myself
Loving Care of Myself is equated to Survival
Survival (having a healthier life) is equated to Having Feelings and Making Choices as a Loving Way to Care for Myself.
Part of the loving care is to nurture the feelings I have and the choices I make. This is an abstract concept to children who were raised as objects of addiction. Making choices and having feelings in the company of nurturing people is a way to clarify the abstract concept and learn to nurture myself. We heal in relationship to ourselves and in the company of others.
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