Projection: "You're just weird."

ACF:

• "I feel unable to accept you.."
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "You're just thinking of yourself."

ACF:

• "I think you should abandon your needs in favor of mine." ;
• "I feel angry that I can't use you."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel helpless."

Projection: "Nobody is going to like you if you do that."

ACF:

• "I'm frustrated with you, I don't like what you're doing." ;
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "You can't do that!"

ACF:

• "I feel anger when I think you are going to do something that I consider to be inappropriate." ;
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "You're just doing that to be a smart ass."

ACF:

• "I'm sure that I can read your mind." ;
• "I'm unable to cope with your behavior."
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "I think you're doing this just because . . . . . ."

ACF:

• "I'm sure that I can read your mind." ;
• "I'm unable to cope with your behavior."
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "You're just doing this to get attention."

ACF:

• "I'm envious of your abilities and feeling inadequate with my own." ;
• "I'm sure that I can read your mind."
• "I'm unable to cope with your behavior."
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

Projection: "You are embarrassing me!"

ACF:

• "I feel anger when I think you are going to do something that I consider to be inappropriate." ;
• "I expect you to behave in a certain way."
• "I feel helpless, inadequate, angry, hurt, etc. that you're not behaving in a way that I feel good about."
• "I feel like you aren't meeting my needs."
• "I feel like I need you to take care of me and my needs."

next: Miscellaneous Destructive Control Behaviors