What It Takes For You To Stop Self-Injuring - Self-Injuring

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

David: Dr. Reynolds, referring back to your earlier comment regarding hospitalization, you mentioned that you didn't think it was particularly helpful for those who are suicidal. One of our audience members thought that hospitalization would stop the person from following through, at least for awhile. Can you respond to that?

Dr. Reynolds: Yes, people assume that the best treatment is to be very restrictive to those who are suicidal, but no one has ever done a study on that. This is a good point, because it may stop them for twenty-four hours, and I would never say that hospitalization is always bad, but what is to be done after that short period of time is up? Also, any short-term gain is offset by the long-term disadvantage of what they have learned: that when they fall apart and can't cope on their own, they are taken to the hospital and taught that they cannot care for themselves.

Also, they cannot live in the hospital forever, and they need to learn how to control their emotions in every day life. Studies have shown that learning needs to take place in the environment in which it will be used, which means a person's daily life.

dianna_mcheck: Can practicing sado-masochism relate to self injury? When I am in a sexual relationship where S&M is present, I don't self-injure, but when it is not, I do. Is it just a fluke, or is it connected?

Dr. Reynolds: It could be connected, particularly if you are masochistic. But self-injury is typically not done to cause sexual arousal.

Jayfer: At the moment, I am trying really hard. I am seeing a therapist, but finding it really hard in stopping at the moment. I quite often rely on the thought of, "Well if I can't cope, I can always self-injure." Would you say that this thought is natural and healthy? If not what can I do to change this thought?

Dr. Reynolds: That thought is understandable given that you have been doing this for a long time, but it is definitely not healthy or natural. That thought is really your mortal enemy, because it is "keeping the door open" to self-harm, and therefore, not really teaching you new ways to cope. What you should do is commit that there will absolutely be no more self-harm. SLAM the door, as if you were a drug addict.

tracyancrew: Do you think a day treatment program like partial hospitalization helps someone who self injures?

Dr. Reynolds: An intensive treatment like partial hospitalization can be great. It is not the same as inpatient hospitalization because you do go home at night, and also typically have assignments at home, etc. So, beyond that, I would have to know what type of treatment it is.

There are a number of DBT partial hospitalization programs, for example, the one I know of for certain is Cornell Medical Center in New York. For those interested in finding DBT providers in their area, you can check at this website: www.behavioraltech.com. This is the website of the Behavioral Technology Transfer Group. It is a company that specializes in empirically supported treatments such as DBT. So, they have a resource list on their website.

earthangelgrl: OK, when does self-injury come to the point where it is dangerous and you should seek help for cutting? I have had days where I have done nearly 500 cuts.

Dr. Reynolds: Clearly, you have reached the point of "dangerous" in the sense that the quality of your life is probably nil. It does not matter that your cutting is not medically serious, I strongly advise you to get professional treatment as soon as possible! I wish you well.

smilewmn: I see a therapist for abuse related issues. She knows I cut, but doesn't tell me it's wrong., so I feel like it's okay to do. Why wouldn't she tell me it's wrong?

Dr. Reynolds: There are a number of treatment providers who may say that it is "okay" to cut while you work on the underlying problems related to the cutting. My treatment approach, DBT, takes a very different approach that you cannot have a good life when you are intentionally harming yourself. Each time that happens you teach yourself that it is the only solution, and perhaps also that you are a bad person deserving of pain. It just depends on your treatment goals: if you want a better life, you have to commit to stopping any cutting or suicide attempts.

Tigirl: I have been cutting, burning, and breaking bones for about two years and I have been anorexic for fourteen years. What are my chances of getting better? (Find here information about anorexia)

Dr. Reynolds: You have good chances of leading a good life, if you get help. You seem to be looking for help, and if so, that is definitely on your side because people who don't ask for help have a lot less chance of getting better. Good luck, Tigirl.

Nerak: I have not self-injured in thirty-two days, but I feel the urges coming back, and am so afraid that one day I will not be able to stop. Any suggestions on what to do to not get to that point?

Dr. Reynolds: Try to identify things that you have done before that help. For example, some people know they will not cut when around others. Also, consider the ideas earlier such as holding an ice cube. I would also make out a list of pros and cons for self-harming so that you can look at it when you begin to get dysregulated. Finally, you have to remember that even when you have an urge, it will peak and then go down. So, you just have to get through it.

David: Thank you, Dr. Reynolds, for being our guest tonight and for sharing this information with us. And to those in the audience, thank you for coming and participating. I hope you found it helpful. We have a growing self-injury community here at HealthyPlace.com. You will always find people in the chat rooms and interacting with various sites. Also, if you found our site beneficial, I hope you'll pass our URL http://www.healthyplace.com around to your friends, mail list buddies, and others.

Dr. Reynolds: Thank you very much for having me. I have enjoyed it.

David: And again, Dr. Reynolds, thank you for staying so late and answering questions. We appreciate it.

Dr. Reynolds: Good luck to everyone, and take care.

David: Good night, everyone.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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