Stalking And Obsessive Love - Can a Stalker Be Reformed?

David: Here's a good question:

TexGal: Can a stalker be reformed?

Dr. Orion: Such a good question, it's a shame there's no good answer. Studying stalkers, including treating them, is so new that there are no known absolute treatments. Obviously, if a stalker has an underlying mental illness (and about 50% seem to) it's very important to treat that. It also seems that court ordered treatment, particularly close supervision, works better in many cases than voluntary treatment, because stalkers often don't feel they have a problem.

mjonesy: I've been stalked now for over 6 years. I haven't responded to him in anyway for at least a year, but he still comes over to my home. I have heard mixed opinions about using restraining orders. Women seem to think it just incites the stalker to bother you even more. A policeman in my area says he can't help me until I file a restraining order. But my stalker is different than others, I think, because he comes over to my home and enters my home to do damage.

Dr. Orion: It's difficult to understand how the police say they can't do anything if there is evidence of breaking and entering into your home. Again, the opinions and even the data on restraining orders are mixed. In my own case, I did not respond to the stalker in any way for 3 years, but it kept getting worse, then I got a restraining order which I wish I hadn't when I found out the police would not arrest.

mjonesy: He does his damage to my house when I'm not there. He gets a big kick in the fact that he can come into my house without breaking any windows or doors.

David: A few more audience comments on what has been said so far:

DawnA: In our California county, we have mandatory 52 week Batterers Treatment Counseling for domestic violence offenders. The treatment provider runs a Stalker group within the program. I know a Prosecutor who was a stalking victim. The stalker continued to "stalk" from jail with letters.

TexGal: I helped a lady who was being stalked, even drew a sketch of her stalker, she saw him, she was bi-polar and it caused serious problems with her health.

Dr. Orion: I know of cases like TexGal's where police will set up surveillance tapes to catch the perpetrator, or the victim does it herself. Other victims in this situation have gotten a dog.

cheyenne4444: What is the worst judicial punishment a stalker can receive?

Dr. Orion: In terms of punishment: California is the most progressive state for stalking victims. They have many excellent programs like ESP in Los Angeles. In other states, stalkers can get up to 20 years for felony stalking, but the usual punishment is 3-5 years.

David: Are stalkers serial in nature. After they finish with you, do they go onto the next person?

Dr. Orion: Some stalkers are serial. One study found that in the case of erotomanic stalkers, 17% stalked previous victims. There is also evidence that in that kind of stalking, having had more than one victim increases the propensity for violence.

David: It's getting late. I appreciate you coming tonight Dr. Orion and being our guest. And I want to thank everyone in the audience for coming and participating. I hope you found the information helpful.

Dr. Orion: Thank you.

David: Here's the link to Dr. Orion's book: I Know You Really Love me.

Good night everyone.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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