Recovering From Self-Injury - Is Injuring Really Working for You?

meagain: I have found that many professionals don't really care--with that I get real belligerent. How, if at all, does this program deal with someone like this?

Emily J: I was probably the most belligerent I had ever been in my whole life! I was very scared, and masking it as anger, and taking it out on the staff. They are very used to this type of reaction.

twinkletoes: If you injured at S.A.F.E., did you automatically have to leave? Were there consequences?

Emily J: We had to sign a no-harm contract. If we broke it once, we were put on probation. If we injured after being put on probation, we would probably be asked to leave. I did break my contract but I learned a lot by being put on probation and answering the probation questions. I might add that I was absolutely terrified. How was I going to cope without my "best friend"? I learned how to cope and how to feel. Also, I had the mentality that I was too bad to be helped; that I was too severe and no one could help me. I held onto that belief even three weeks into the program. Well, a year later I'm injury-free and my life has never been better. I still have the normal stresses of everyday living, but like I've said, I know how to cope in a healthy manner now.

David: That's wonderful, Emily. Are you concerned about a future relapse? Do you worry about that?

Emily J: NO! I have made it a personal goal of mine that I will NEVER self injure again. I've gained so much in this year, and I've worked too hard to throw it all away. That was a promise I made to myself, the minute I was on the plane back home.

David: Would you say that you are "in" recovery, meaning it's an ongoing process... or that you are "recovered", meaning you are completely healed?

Emily J: That is a hard question. Well, I would say I'm in recovery and I do believe it's an ongoing process because I always have to challenge myself to feel.

David: Here's an audience comment on another form of treatment:

crazygirl: I'm in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and I find that it is helping me a lot. It really changed my life and I would recommend it to those who have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Emily J: Nighty-nine percent of people I met, who also injure, have Borderline Personality Disorder. I do want to say that I don't believe S.A.F.E. is the only answer; but it was for me.

David: At the beginning of the conference, I mentioned that you also suffered from anorexia. Do you feel that the eating disorder and self-injury were linked in some way? (Read more on the types of eating disorders.)

Emily J: Yes, at S.A.F.E. I'd say 85% of the patients there have or have had an eating disorder. Mainly, all of us were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, an eating disorder, and self-injury.

David: Do you still struggle with the eating disorder?

Emily J: No. I was able to overcome that two years prior to going to S.A.F.E. Fortunately, I was able to overcome that but I had a harder time overcoming the self-injury.

David: I know it's getting late. Thank you Emily for coming tonight and sharing your experiences with us. Congratulations to you. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. Also, thank you to everyone in the audience for coming tonight and participating. I hope you found it helpful.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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