Treatment for Self-Injury - Self-Injury

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

thycllmemllwyllw: I have not been self-harming as long as some people but I know a lot of people that have self harmed for a while and they come to me to vent, and they are always threaten to die. I want to know what are some ways that I can calm them down without talking about myself or getting myself down about it?

Dr Lader: I would suggest helping them focus away from the "escape" (self-injury or suicide) and focus instead on identifying feelings and finding solutions for the problem. Also, to identify and challenge thoughts that fuel escalation rather than calming.

mammamia: It's important for me to cut veins, in order to see the blood run out. It feels almost like I'm ridding my body of all the bad stuff. I'm getting very weak because of this. It has become very serious; I'll cut 3 or 4 times a day. How do I get help when living so far away from Illinois? I'm scared.

Dr Lader: It's important to be in therapy and to recognize that the object is not to rid oneself of anything but to accept uncomfortable feelings like anger and sadness. These feelings are not "bad" just uncomfortable.

Cathryn: OMGosh! mammamia, I do that for the same reasons too!! Actually I cut different ways for different reasons. I am trying so hard to get the feelings out, rather then cut. But being threatened with abuse for crying as a child, dries up the tears. I cry red tears now.

David: And mammamia, even if you can't get to the SAFE program, hopefully you can find a therapist near where you live who can help.That's the most important thing. Finding a treatment specialist who can help you.

Sometimes I hear people say, "What you are saying is triggering to me. I have to cut myself." For some who are not self-injurers, it's difficult to understand how just saying something can induce someone to self-injure. Can you explain that phenomenon to us?

Dr Lader: Some of these questions are very complicated and we recognize that some of our answers may seem and in fact are simplistic. However, in answer to this question, triggers are important clues. Don't lose that information. Analyze it and try to understand and face the fear directly.

We B 100: Is it normal to not know why I self-injure?

Dr Lader: Yes. Most people don't know why they injure. The action itself is at first so automatic that the reason is often lost. In fact the purpose of self-injury is to distract from the underlying problem.

David: Here are some audience comments about what is being said tonight:

insight: My experience has been that it was easier to self-injure to prevent memories of past abuse to surface. The emotional pain was what I was afraid of.

sweetpea1988: We all need to learn to let ourselves express our feelings

sweetpea1988: Plus it is what we were taught about anger

jenny3: I have been cutting since I was 17 and I am now 26. I find it is very hard to keep hiding from people. I am on medication to help me with this but they don't seem to be working yet

sweetpea1988: To not know why, is because we have not learned to express ourselves in the safe way.

Lela: The reason I first cut was out of curiosity. A girl at school triggered me and I picked up a pair of scissors. I was amazed by the way the pain left me so quickly.

tree101: I find that when I am triggered, it's because what someone is saying is taking me back to uncomfortable feelings or situations. It increases my feeling of been bad and my need to be back in control

wonder: There has never been an instance where someone has said something that made me want to cut. But usually I feel like I want to cut after reading a lot about it or very graphic descriptions on the net. It brings up old "junk" when I think about self-harming too long.

cherrylyn24: My parents are not very supportive of me and I have reached out for help in other ways. They have gotten angry at me for that, and whenever they yell at me, it seems like the answer is to cut. I know I need help, but have been in therapy before and hated it, plus my parents complained about taking me.

Chickie96: my father's alcoholism numbed me as a child, and now I can't really deal with admitting emotions easily.

jenny3: My parents don't know that I cut and I don't want them to know

TeddybearBob: We need to see that self-injury is a lie that it takes pain away from us. It doesn't give us any real control..

Liz Nichols: The first time I ended up cutting myself was when my family was having a fight. When I was cutting myself I was more thinking about killing myself than anything. Then I started feeling better. I started when I was 16 and I'm now 18.

wendles: I took chunks of skin out of my arm with a fingernail clipper. I didn't even realize what I was doing was self injury. I still don't understand why I did it.

David: I'm getting some comments about Dr. Lader's book "Bodily Harm" not being available in stores. If you click on this link you can get it now: "Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers".

ang2 A: The book is wonderful, finally people that understand!

Dr Lader: Thanks! That's what we hope for.