Getting Help for Self-Harm - Getting Help for Self Injury

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

peanuts: >How often is self injury found in those with high abilities to dissociate?

Dr. Farber: Most people who self-injure dissociate either when they are self-injuring or right before. What the self injury does is, if you are in a dissociated state that starts to feel intolerable, the SI can help bring you out of that state.

For some people, they can be in a state of extreme anxiety (hyper-arousal). Sometimes, when they self injure, the self-injury ends that state of hyper-arousal and brings about a dissociative state which may be more desirable. So self injury can be used to interrupt a dissociated state or a state of hyper-arousal or a state of depression or a state of anxiety.

aurora23: I self injure and sometimes I feel suicidal and wonder: if I just went a little bit further or I cut a little bit deeper this time, what would happen. But my self injury is not a suicide attempt. Are these feelings normal or should I have some concerns about these thoughts?
(note: Extensive information here on suicide,suicidal thoughts)

Dr. Farber: You should have some concerns about these feelings because there are some people who do not have the intention to end their lives but they like to flirt with the idea of going a little further and die in the process, although that was not the intention.

David: Earlier, you mentioned substituting one self-injurious behavior for another. Here's a question about that?

asilencedangel: If a person should turn their razors over to a therapist as the beginning of giving up self-injury and then starts abusing their body sexually and physically, could this be symptom substitution and how do I stop before it too gets out of hand?

Dr. Farber: I think if the person gives up the cutting before they are ready to do it, psychologically, they will find some other ways to hurt themselves or find other people to do it. So before someone gives up their cutting implements they need to think about whether they are ready to do this or not. You really need to be honest with yourself about it.

Asilencedangel, why did you turn your razors over to your therapist?

asilencedangel: I thought that I wanted to stop cutting, but now I am starting to question that.

Dr. Farber: I would say that if you turned over your razors to your therapist because the therapist requested it, and you did it for your therapist and not for yourself, then it is not going to work.

mucky: I think that turning razors over just makes it worse, makes me crave it more. At least if I have the razors, I can talk myself down or write a lot of times. Is this ok?

Dr. Farber: Of course it is okay. I think a lot of people who give up their self injury do it knowing that if they really need to do it (self injure), they can (it's like having an ace up the sleeve). Making the decision to give it up makes someone feel more desperate - forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter. When you give something up, it makes you yearn for it more. I think getting beyond self-injury is more than giving up a certain behavior. It's about giving up a way of life that is attached to pain and suffering, emotional pain and emotional suffering, and when this happens, the self-injury falls by the wayside because it is not needed.

David: Here are a few more audience comments on this subject, then we'll go to the next question.

Jus: That was kind of my question too because someone told me that you should be SI free for 7 months before getting rid of your blades, etc.

2nice: My therapist said she couldn't see me anymore if I didn't stop and it scared me. I couldn't imagine starting all over again with a new person. So I gave everything to my shrink.

cassiana1975: My question is, how do you let everyone know about the self injury? No one knows I do it. I know that I need help. I want help from friends and family, but I am afraid they will call me crazy.

Dr. Farber: I think you need to be able to talk about it with someone that is not your family or friends. Someone that will help you find a way to tell your family or friends. SI thrives in an atmosphere of secrecy and that promotes the shame. When you can come out to family or friends about it you are taking the behavior that seemed shameful and you're turning it into something else. You are starting to connect more with the other people in your life and that can only be good. Sometimes a therapist can help you to tell your friends or your family about what it is that you are doing, if you feel that you can't do this all by yourself.

David: Many people here tonight, Dr. Farber, are young people in their teens and 20's. Besides family and friends, where can they go to talk about their self-injury?

Dr. Farber: To self-injury chat rooms. There is also a very good newsletter for people who self injure. I don't know if people are aware of this. They can read about self injury and what other people have found helpful. It's called The Cutting Edge. Here is the post office number if you would like to write to them for a subscription:

PO Box 20819
Cleveland, Ohio 44120

Also, the publisher can be reached by email at the following address: rutamaz @ eohio.net. I would appreciate it if you would say that you have heard about The Cutting Edge from me. She asks for a donation of anywhere from $10 to $30 a year. I learned a lot from reading The Cutting Edge.

David: Here are a few audience suggestions on where you might consider finding someone to talk to:

Trina: Teachers, GP (General Practitioner), guidance counselors, a walk-in clinic are all places teens can go to talk.

peanuts: My GP was supportive - admitting not knowing much about it, not being able to do therapy, but he was willing to listen anytime I needed to talk. It was a start and got me to therapy and other help.

Silent Night: How can I help my mom better understand self-injury?

Dr. Farber: Your mom may want to look at some of the websites about self-injury. There are a number of books out there. And try talking with your mom in an honest way; that would be a good place to start.

David: If you have a topic or a guest that you'd like to see appear for a conference here at HealthyPlace.com, drop me a line at info@healthyplace.com and put the words "conference idea" in the subject header. We get a lot of our guests from visitor suggestions.

I know it's getting very late. Thank you, Dr. Farber, for being our guest tonight and for sharing this information with us. And to those in the audience, thank you for coming and participating. I hope you found it helpful.

Also, if you found our site beneficial, I hope you'll pass our URL around to your friends, mail list buddies, and others: http://www.healthyplace.com.

Dr. Farber: It was a pleasure being here and I thank you for inviting me, and I hope this has been helpful to the people that have tuned in. And to everyone, I wish you all health and hope and healing.

David: Thank you, again, Dr. Farber. I hope everyone has a pleasant weekend. Good night.

Disclaimer: We are not recommending or endorsing any of the suggestions of our guest. In fact, we strongly encourage you to talk over any therapies, remedies or suggestions with your doctor BEFORE you implement them or make any changes in your treatment.

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