David: I would imagine that would be one of the most difficult things for someone with DID to tell someone else and not appear "crazy." And on the other side, I'm trying to imagine being the recipient of the message, not knowing much about DID and hearing this. So I do understand what you are saying.

Paula McHugh: Yes, it's scary to come out because you can never tell ahead of time how people will react. Most people are curious and helpful but some are not. I wouldn't recommend telling your boss either. Lots of people want to know more. They want to help. Sometimes, they want to know too much, too many questions, and DID people begin to wonder do you like me only because I'm DID?

David: If you have a therapist, is it important to have the support of family and friends to work through the issues involved. For instance, in eating disorders recovery, the professionals stress the importance of a support system. What about with DID?

Paula McHugh: You're very lucky if you have family support because more often the family is in denial and even tends to blame the person or say they are lying. I find that some people do have support of good friends or a spouse. They are lucky. Other people find help in DID support groups or in other support groups where people understand pain.

David: For the audience: if you have told someone about your DID, either how did you say it or what was their reaction? I think it would be helpful to many here tonight. I'll post the responses as we go along.

Paula, a few of the audience members would like to know if you have personal experience with DID.

Paula McHugh: No, I don't, but I admire the heck out of people who survive this.

David: Judging from the comments that I'm getting from audience members, I think many feel you really "understand" what they are going through and what they are saying.

Here's another audience question.

Maia: How do you deal with clients who have been hospitalized, and the other professionals do not believe in Dissociative Identity Disorder, which prevents them from being helped or feel safe?

Paula McHugh: That's a tough issue for me. There's one hospital in this town that accepts Dissociative Identity Disorder - and TALKS to alters. The other hospital does not. It irks me! People deserve respect and time to just talk, it helps them let go of worries and move on. I work with psychiatrists who believe what I believe. I just can't ignore alters. I know that seems to work for some doctors and some therapists, but I don't know how they do it. I have to do it the old way, the way Frank Putnam wrote about in his book, "Diagnosis and Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder". He outlines dealing with alters and helping them. Sorry if I got on a bandstand, but it's something I feel strongly about.

David: And that is a difficult issue because there are professionals, psychiatrists and psychologists, who do NOT believe in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder. So therefore it's important to find a therapist who does, and I would be very upfront and ask the person directly before I got involved in doing therapy with them.

Here are some of the audience responses to "how did you tell someone else about your DID and/or how did they react once you told them" :

whalevine: Have you ever seen or heard about the movie Sybil? If they say yes, then I tell them I am like that person. If they do not know about the movie, then I tell them I was hurt so bad when I was little, that I made people inside called Alters to survive!

Tyger: Most people thought I was making it up, or got scared and ran away.

patscrew: When I first told my girlfriend I was an alter, she thought I had been neutered!

insight: I have to feel absolutely safe with a person before I disclose. I have had outside family come to a session to learn more about DID, especially those who have to live with me when I switch under stress.

freckles: One good friend has stopped communicating with me after I told her. She just smiled and was non-committal.

TXDawn27: I told my psychology teacher and he was very supportive. He helped me make up class work I missed while in the hospital.

JoMarie_etal: We usually tell somebody when we feel trapped and it is the only way to explain something, i.e., switch in the middle of a project, etc.

imahoot: The doctors and therapist told my family and friends while visiting me at the hospital and educated them on it.

freckles: I'm fortunate to be in a relationship with another DIDer, and to have friends who are DID. My mom just thought "it's another one of her crazy moods" when I told her I was DID.

danalyn: I have found you must really know and trust a person if you are going to tell them. Telling can cause more hurt and rejection.

TXDawn27: Everything you've said feels so "right" to me. It goes a long way to making me feel less crazy and alone. I agree that trust should be the first priority in a therapy relationship.

David: Here is an audience question:

CryingWolves: I would like to know if the feeling of blending is a step toward, or a part of, the process of integration.

Paula McHugh: I think it's both. Blending is a process of integration. Lines become blurred -- less bold. People who used to be passive - become assertive, people who were just angry - learn to cry and love.