The Damage Caused By Sexual Abuse - Sexual Abuse

David: Dr. Ewart, I am getting some questions on your book. Where can it be purchased?

Dr. Ewart: The address to purchase of my book is:

High Risk Action Council
131 Wise Dr.; Sumter
South Carolina; 29150

The book is $12.95 plus $2 shipping.

kit-kat: Do you have a specific therapy program that you use with sexual abuse victims and do you train other therapists to do the same?

Dr. Ewart: I used to, but don't do treatment anymore. I did treat people by means of group therapy, all women, with the establishment of complete safety, where no one is required to talk unless they wish to. I teach the principals of what abuse does, then the group interacts according to their experience. In addition to that, I individually treat the patient for emotional trauma, by desensitizing memories and by putting lies into the light of day.

Susan Maree: When you say "well" do you mean they are "normal" and have absolutely no problems relating to the abuse?

Dr. Ewart: No, I mean that they are well on their way to developing their individual abilities and establishing a strong sense of self, in addition to being able to recognize predators.

angelwoman: I have been in therapy and hospitals several times over the last five years. I also have Multiple Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder (MPD, DID) and I am no where near healing. How can you heal such a thing in six months?

Dr. Ewart: Good question, angelwoman. Usually Multiple Personality Disorder is a misdiagnosis in the case of abuse and what seems to be MPD is really the ramifications of emotional trauma. The diagnosis of MPD is more of a philosophical concept than a reality.

weaverwoman: I would like you to explain what you said about MPD. What do you mean that it is a philosophical approach? Are the alters a manifestation of people's imaginations?

Sonja: How is Multiple Personality Disorder philosophical rather than a reality? Sure feels real to us!!!

Dr. Ewart: The alters are a few of the countless ingredients in everyone's personality. All of us are composed of many combinations of emotions and we tend to take on a different character when expressing a particular emotion. The truth is that everyone who has ever been born has a multiple personality. Human beings are the most complicated creatures imaginable. She, or you, may have thousands alters, and I may have 1500.

David: One thing I'm finding in the questions Dr. Ewart, is that "6-month therapy deadline" is really a flashpoint for questions and criticism. Here's a for-instance:

LisaM: Dr. Ewart, seeing that I have been in therapy for 5 years now, and that you don't think it is a good idea, should I just quit at this point? I am really confused.

Dr. Ewart: Lisa, do not quit unless you have something better. Don't start looking for a specialist in abuse and don't leave your present therapist unless you have confidence in a real expert.

delitenhim: I was sexually abused for many years as a child, have never had therapy and I am functioning. So why would it be beneficial to go?

Dr. Ewart: The fact that you are functioning demonstrates great strength of character, but for every action there is a reaction, and it is not necessary to continue to drag the baggage.

smssafe: How do you stop feeling unsafe. How do you regain feeling a sense of security?

Dr. Ewart: smssafe, the feeling unsafe, comes from the feeling of deserving punishment, probe why you feel you deserve to be punished.

David: Dr.Ewart, given that predators inherently know how to select their victims, is there a way for sexual abuse victims to identify the predator before she/he is taken advantage of again?

Dr. Ewart: Yes David; first, predators move very fast. Second, they will have either a strong or a very weak personality, one extreme or the other, and they will become possessive very early in the relationship.

David: Would you say that once you identify someone as a predator, run as fast as you can?

Dr. Ewart: I say run twice as fast as you can.

David: For those in the audience: Here's a question. Just send the answer to me. I'll post them as we go along. That way we can help each other.

Bascha: I find that I am open to abuse mostly from myself.

guardian: Yes, it makes you more vulnerable. Like the predator knows your weakness.

smilewmn: Yes, I feel like I have become more vulnerable and weak, and tend to succumb to what others want from me or want me to do, may it be sexual or not.

Montana: Yes, it did for me. I also got kidnapped, tortured, beaten and raped twice as an adult by perpetrators I did not know.

LauraM: I was told once by some friends, and then understood it was true, that I tend to be impolite to people who are nice to me and tend to be extremely nice to people who treat me badly. I had never noticed this until they told me so. Now I try to be conscious about it.

DeafDeb: There have been times that I felt I was a magnet for abuse.

freesia: Not further sexual abuse, but yes, as far as emotional abuse and physical abuse with other people and relationships.

Dr. Ewart: The nature of the predator has an uncanny ability to spot wounded prey and they always pursue them. A predator can spot a wounded woman a block away. And predators will never change, it's in their character. Like a hawk will never change into a dove, a predator will never change into a gentleman.

David: So it seems from some of these comments that Dr. Ewart has really struck a chord here; that sexual abuse really breaks down the personality, leaving the victim open for further sexual abuse.

Dr. Ewart: Yes, that's correct. That's exactly what I mean. The wounded draws more predators, and the person allows more predators because she believes she deserves no better.