Part 3

Suggested Seating: Have children sit at desks with partners.

Tell the children that they've done a fantastic job recognizing "stranger danger." Remind them that unfortunately as we saw in Break the Silence, some adults or people we actually know and care about may want to hurt children. Tell them that anybody who ignores someone who says, "Stop, I am uncomfortable," and goes on to hurt or touch them in a bad way has a serious problem. No one is sure why adults or older children hurt children. Lots of caring adults are trying to figure out why and how to stop them, but until we do, children need to be aware of how they can protect themselves. Tell children they should try to say "Stop, I feel uncomfortable" or "I don't like that" or "BACK OFF!" if they think someone they know is going to hurt them because that might stop the abuse. Remind them of Chart A. State that if a child is too afraid or just doesn't have a chance to say anything and the abuse occurs, they should still never ever blame themselves. Refer to Chart A again.

4th-6th grade teachers -- Remind students of your district's sexual harassment policy. Stress that all people of all ages must respect each other's private zones and individual body boundaries. Tell students that this is why there are penalties for sexual harassment at school.

Have the students pair up with same sex partners. If you think pairing up will be too disruptive (especially for your more "sophisticated" upper elementary students) don't do it. Just be sure to give the group "think" time before reading This is what happened.

Read the following situations and give the children a short time to think, pair, and share working through the flow chart. After you have read and allowed for think time, review their think, pair, and share responses. Read to them what each child in the situations really did. Praise your students for their good thinking.

Abuse By Family and Friends

1. Janie has a baby-sitter named Joe. They play lots of fun games together, but sometimes Joe plays tricks on Janie. Some are mean tricks. He started putting a spider on her neck and rubbing it off when she cried. Today, he rubbed the spider off and then kept rubbing her neck and where she wore her bathing suit even though the spider was gone.

This is what happened. Janie told him to stop it because she felt uncomfortable. He said she was being a baby and kept doing it. She yelled, "BACK OFF!". She went to her room until her mom got home. She told her mom and her mom said she was proud of Janie for saying no and telling her. Her mom said she was going to talk to Joe and tell him that he couldn't baby-sit Janie anymore. Her mom said that she would always do her very best to protect Janie.

2. Brad likes to go fishing with his Uncle Bill at his uncle's cabin by the lake. They are really good friends. Brad thinks Uncle Bill is a "trusted adult." When Brad got an "F" on a spelling test, he told his uncle all about it, even before he told his mom and dad.

Last night on their way to the lake, Brad told his uncle that he had broken his neighbor's window with a baseball. He hadn't told anyone because he knew he'd have to pay to replace it and he was saving his money for a new bike. This morning after they went fishing, Uncle Bill was taking a shower and told Brad to get in, too, so they could play a game. Brad said "No, I don't want to, I feel uncomfortable," but Uncle Bill said if he didn't, he would tell Brad's parents all about the broken window.

This is what happened. Brad still said, "No" and went outside and sat in the car until Uncle Bill came out and drove him home. Brad told his mom what happened when he got home. Brad's mom said Uncle Bill was just fooling around and Brad was being silly for having an "Uh Oh" feeling. Brad was still uncomfortable about what happened so he told his dad. He was really proud of Brad for telling. He said he understood about the broken window and would pay Brad for doing some extra chores to fix it. Brad was afraid Uncle Bill would get in trouble. Brad's dad said that Uncle Bill would have to see some special people (counselors for older students) before spending time with Brad again. Brad's dad explained to Brad's mom that it was important to respect Brad's "Uh Oh" feelings.

3. Ginnie went to spend the summer with her grandparents. Each night at bedtime, Grandpa tucked her in. When he did this, he felt under her nightie. He told her not to tell anyone because it was their special secret. Ginnie felt bad.

This is what happened. Ginnie worried for several days. She told Grandpa she didn't like him doing that, but he didn't listen. She decided to ask her Grandma to tuck her in. She tried hard not to be alone with Grandpa. When she went back to school, she told her teacher what happened. Her teacher said (have the students read the chart with you), "It's not fair, it's not your fault, and it's not your problem." The teacher said that her Grandpa had a serious problem that other adults must help him deal with. The teacher was proud of Ginnie for turning the problem over to adults. The teacher was going to get help for Ginnie and her Grandpa.

Closure Review

Have children brainstorm five new things they have learned about child abuse to accompany the lists brainstormed before viewing Break the Silence.

Review Yell, Run, and Tell if something confusing or bad happens to you. You never have to be embarrassed if it turns out that the person wasn't going to hurt you. Bad or confusing touches are not fair, not your fault, and not your problem! Like the children in Break the Silence and Janie, Brad, and Ginnie, you need to tell and keeping telling until adults who care about kids help you.

* At this time, take a break to allow children to think about what they have learned. If abuse is disclosed, you can ask the child how the abuse made him or her feel, validate the feeling, and move calmly onto the next child or activity. Make it clear that you are there for any other children who want to tell about something related to the presentation that has happened to them or someone they know. Be sure you are familiar with reporting procedures. Follow up as soon as you can that day.

Post-Test

Independent Practice and/or Follow-up Activities:

1. Sing "I Belong to Me" (3rd or 4th grade and under, depending on your students).

2. Yell, Run, and Tell "flip book" or posters.

3. Enclosed "Break the Silence bingo", coloring book (Grades 2-4), and "My Eight Rules for Safety" NCMEC.

4. "Wanted Posters." Children can draw themselves or you can take photographs. Make sure children know their address, area code and phone number, their parents' full names and descriptions, and how to call 911 or the operator.

5. Bring in or draw pictures and/or write stories about trusted adults.

6. Any other self-esteem building lessons you already use.

next: Yell and Tell Child Abuse Prevention and Education Program