Part 2

Abusers occupy every facet of our society. They can be teachers, police officers, firefighters, ministers, babysitters, business women, coaches, girl scout leaders and so on. They often use their position or profession to gain access to children.

Once our children begin school, they will be influenced by persons outside our families. They will have to deal with the world. We have to deal with the consequences of that new found freedom. So here is something you can do.

Kids love to play games. One of the things they like best is to play 'grown-up.' Get yourself down on the floor at or below your child's eye level and play 'grown-up.'

In your best actor's voice, tell them you want to play a game of scouts, day care, school, soccer, or whatever activity they're involved in. Let them know they're the 'adult' and you are the 'child.' Tell them you want to play a game like DAY CARE (if they happen to be attending a daycare facility).

Let them choose the game. Then ask them what the rules of the game are. PLAY DUMB. Get them to explain the rules to you. Then play the game with them. Every step of the way, play dumb and keep asking questions about how the game is to be played. Let them tell you how things are to progress.

Don't assume anything. If your child tells you they want to play leapfrog, don't use your adult mind to define what leapfrog is. Let your child explain exactly what it is. It may very well be the same care-free game you played as a child. You may find out that in daycare with Mr. Bob 'leapfrog' means taking off all your clothes, crouching down on the ground, and every third child is abused by Mr. Bob.

Whenever you do this, let your child explain fully. Play dumb in order to learn more about the games your child is playing. Examine and explore every facet of your child's life outside your home. Remember, child molesters walk in every facet of our lives, they take on all identities, and are members of all professions. May you and your children ....

©Hayes 1999 reprinted w/permission

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