I'm Getting Louder

Written by Pam

I made the head pictured above out of clay July 19, 1998. It symbolizes that my journey is turning in a new direction, though I cannot yet define it very clearly.

It started with one of those times I got furious with my therapist (it happens every three or four months--it doesn't scare me as much anymore). I wrote a scathing defense of my position. And after a few days I discovered I was enjoying feeling strong, and I didn't want to go back to being childlike. The only thing is, strong is scary. If I am strong, will I end up just like my abusers? I'm still trying to find my balance.

Later in the fall I did a series of finger paintings, also for things that didn't have words. Each picture is separately linked below:

9-26-98
9-28-98
10-5-98
10-11-98
10-17-98
10-31-98

next: Finding the Center