"Rage-aholic"

by Linda Ness

The seeds of hate and anger are symbolically reflected in this image. I inherited the seeds of these hurtful, evil spirited monsters and their slimy, perverted companions from my abusive, tyrannical father. As I became an adult, it was painful to witness these monsters of rage explode from me, hurting those closest to me. The words and emotions that came out of my mouth seemed beyond my control, coming from deep inside, exploding at their will - not mine.

By creating and understanding this image, I am able to recognize these ugly parts of myself. I see that although they are inside, they are NOT me. I need not fight, react to them or give them power. By examining these scary parts, I learned to recognize the triggers that give these monsters power and how to pull the plug so they no longer control my emotions or life.

"Out of Body"

by Linda Ness

Although initially, I painted this image to rid myself of its haunting presence, I discovered after reading, “Courage to Heal” that I was not alone in seeing this view from the corner of the ceiling. I learned that leaving my body was my only escape. At the time, while I was being incested by my father, I remember trying to numb my body so much that there would be no way that he could hurt me. I became as dead as a log.

The image has helped me see that this is not from the mind of a crazy person , but a witness to the creativity of survival.

"Dashboard Jesus"

by Linda Ness

A clear view of the road leading through the mountains.
A rearview mirror giving clues to the past.
Religious beliefs captured in the plastic Jesus.
A throw of the dice and the luck it brings.
The salad of the here and now mixed for tomorrow.

"Bible Reading"

by Linda Ness

After dinner we would read the bible while Mom would leave and tend my youngest sisters, leaving us alone with dad. We would take turns reading and standing next to dad as we read. For years, I felt the shame of that experience as if somehow I should have done something to make it not happen. As the other kids sat around the table listening, he chose to fondle the child and masturbate while the bible was being read. It took seeing that scene on canvas for me to see the truth and release a mountain of shame. I was not to blame. I had no guilt. HE WAS THE JERK! HE WAS THE HYPOCRITE!

"Vacation With Dad"

by Linda Ness

In 1965, dad and the 4 oldest kids took a cross-country vacation to California. We didn't camp or stay in motels, instead we all slept curled up in the station wagon.

As it turned out, three kids would sleep in the back seat and one unfortunate person would have to sleep in the front with dad. Dad took advantage of that opportunity to fondle and masturbate that child. I hated him and how it made me feel and until that painting I carried the shame of that memory. Again, the painting showed the truth. We were betrayed and he took advantage of us. The SHAME lays on his shoulders.

"Amazon 2"

by Michael Colton

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