GOD'S HAND IN HEALING RITUAL ABUSE

Many people, including abuse survivors, ask themselves. "Where was God in the midst of their trauma?" How could God who is supposed to be "loving," allow such pain and suffering as Ritual Abuse? This question, as you know, is not "exclusive" to ritual abuse survivors. It comes up in the case of any traumatic event, any crisis that individuals must face, any tragedy. We have forgotten that God does not want us to suffer. Some choose to see suffering as an EXAMPLE of God's abandonment of His people. The truth is, that each one of us, has GOD with us. Unfortunately, we've misplaced Him somewhere along the way.

God gave us a promise of Hope. We might look at the "traumas" of the world as if they were the storm or the flood that Noah faced. Some people, as in Noah's day, will choose to ignore the fact that the flood is eminent. (We remember what happened to them!)

Noah, KNEW God was with him, he had faith. We must help those who suffer by planting the tiny mustard seed of faith. Then the seed may be nurtured in order to grow. Nurturing faith in the brokenhearted is our commission as God's servants. We cannot reap, neither can we sow, unless we plant the seed. It is this faith, this belief in Hope for a better day . . . a rainbow in the cloud that we approach the subject of ritual abuse and healing.

Where was God? Where was the rainbow of hope? I contend, that Hope was NOT lost but rather, it was held gently in God's hand, to be discovered in the midst of the clouds . . . perhaps later for some than others, but eventually it would be there on the horizon!

It is the Light of God, the center of the soul of His Child which the cult tried to destroy. In ritual abuse survivors, that center was shattered. The soul of the child would be fractured through pain, trauma, abuse beyond words . . . but it wouldn't disappear. That fractured Light of God, the soul and Spirit of His child IS the rainbow!

Our task and God's hand in healing ritual abuse is to help His children find that light of hope again. It requires taking all the shattered pieces of light and putting them together. It's about riding out the storm, surviving the flood, and the patience to keep looking for that dove bearing the sign that we ARE approaching dry land! It is a journey, just like the journey Noah took. It is a journey of faith, hope and love, a journey of starting over in trusting God.

Those who practice evil are intent on turning everything that is about God and FOR God into something ugly and dirty. It is about the destruction of life, the destruction of God's Light, and the worship of darkness. It is a twisted, warped defamation of God and everything He stands for. In satanic rituals, just as in the crucifixion of our Lord, Satan and his followers assault and defile the closest thing to God . . . His child.

My journey of Spiritual healing from Ritual abuse was about finding the shattered pieces of light and picking them up. Each one had to be gently carried and placed BACK in its original location. The "reflection" that was seen is equivalent to what one might see if they were in a House of Mirrors. If you can visualize yourself, as standing in the center of a House of Mirrors . . . looking all around you and seeing your reflection. Some reflections are warped, some appear grotesque, and some are very very small. But they are ALL you! They are ALL your reflection. Reaching out to touch that reflection is what Spiritual Healing is about. But, reaching out to touch the mirrors, can be scary. The survivor of abuse doesn't know if that reflection, that gross representation she sees is REALLY she, or a warped reflection created by something evil. She believes, because the cult taught her to believe this, that SHE is evil. Again, the twisted work of Satan. They were trying to take something beautiful that God created, and turn it into something ugly and bad.

The cult that abused me used clergy to defile God. This is a common practice in satanic cults. It is a way to draw their victims farther away from God's church and those who could help them. Some cult members or Satanists, were active church members and leaders on Sundays. Yet on Saturday nights, they were leading another "church" group. The colors of the robes were different and so was the God they worshipped. It is sad to say, that many of the most knowledgeable theologians in our world are Satanists. You cannot twist and defile the Word of God unless you KNOW the Word of God.

In Satanic rituals, some cult members "pretend" to be clergy to confuse the child and cause her to FEAR both God's servants AND His house. Rituals often took place in or near churches. The instruments of the Holy Sacrament, as well as the cross, were used during rituals. Anything that was related to God or Christ, especially the Highest and most Holy of church holidays was defiled in some way.

In spite of the attempted destruction of God's children, there is light in the midst of the darkness. There can be healing. The role of God's servants is to heal as Christ healed. We are to recognize the fear and shame in others that needs His healing hand. We must be prepared to help the child of God gently and ever so carefully, reach out and touch that mirror. His children need to understand that WHAT they see in that reflection IS God! The pain of abuse causes them to see a warped, scratched, broken reflection of their Creator. God's purpose, and ours as His servants, is to help the "walking wounded" in our world, touch their reflection of the Christ child in the center of their own House of Mirrors.

The cult tried to convince me that "touching the mirror" or finding my TRUE self, was tantamount to death. The cult trained me well, if I worked hard enough to FIND that child in the center, they taught me how to kill myself. Thus, FEAR of mending the shattered mirrors or seeking "wholeness" was well established in my mind. I was carefully taught to believe that IF I touched that reflection or the light of God . . . I must die.

For many survivors, the risk becomes too much to bear and often, out of fear and no direction from God's servants, the abuse victim remains the victim as opposed to a survivor. She remains wounded, perhaps using drugs, alcohol or some other addiction to ease the pain. Or perhaps the seed of suicidal programming the cult planted chokes the life out of her.

Leaders of our churches have an ominous job. It is not however, impossible because we KNOW that with God . . . ANYTHING is possible! Christ's healing of the lepers, his casting out of demons, his compassion for those in pain, are ALL examples of how we must work with ritual abuse survivors and anyone else who is suffering from the LACK of God's wholeness. What did ALL of these people have in common? They had a NEED! Our job as healers, is to see with the eyes of the GREAT healer, Jesus. When He is our center, we have the strength and guidance through the Holy Spirit to be partners in His healing.

Those who came to Christ or were brought to him were "seeking" help. They wanted to be healed. Often today we spend time, for our OWN glorification and credit in trying to heal those who have chosen NOT to see the flood. We offer and offer and offer and still nothing happens! We must be able to distinguish between those who WANT to get on the boat and those who don't! We must also be honest about whom we give credit to when healing takes place. We are God's servants. We can only act through Him. We can't force healing, but as disciple of Christ, I know I must at the very least, offer it.

Christ did not say to those He healed, "YOU HAVE to be healed" He asked, "Do you want to be healed?" It was a choice. It is my opinion, when a church leader stands in front of his people and screams words of "hell and damnation" there is LITTLE resemblance to Christ in that! When you give a survivor of ritual abuse a "choice" to attend your church, a "choice" to run out when the offering of the sacrament brings horrendous flashes of memories of a black mass and the eating of real flesh and blood . . . that "choice" is a gift that is offered through Christ. Those who worship Satan offered NO choice for the child of God. In offering the "choice" you will have given her a gift that may change her life. You offer your hand, not to PULL her into something she is terrified of, but to lend support. You offer her a different kind of comfort than she's ever known, one she can trust will not reach out and suffocate her or demand something she can't offer.

Choice, is a key to healing in abuse. When we try to force God's children by screaming at them we need to ask WHO we are actually trying to heal them for, ourselves . . . or God? We can no longer afford to heal for our personal glory. We MUST begin to heal God's children for HIS GLORY!

Many survivors kept God's light alive inside of them. In fact, I think most survivors did this, especially if they were of a very young age. Survivors of ritual abuse, or other traumatic types of abuse can't handle the overwhelming pain and trauma. They shatter like a mirror into separate reflections. Therapists call this multiple personality disorder. I call it the shattering of God's reflection. As clergy, and as members of God's Holy church, we must reach out to help ALL of those who have been shattered in some way. We can help them find that light in the center of the clouds with God's guiding hand. We must begin to help them see that even in the storm, there is a rainbow of hope. It will take more than just words. It will take compassion, patience, love, faith, gentleness. It takes the fruit of the Spirit.

Healing our children is not about words. It's about "action." If we say, "Ritual abuse or ANY kind of abuse is awful" and then we don't acknowledge or do something about exposing it because it's too controversial in the media, then I ask, How is that different from saying to the man without a coat or food. "Have a good day, be well, stay warm" and then turning around and walking away?

Faith is about ACTION, not just SAYING you have faith. Healing is about DOING . . . touching with God's hand ever so gently to heal those who suffer. It is about SHOWING them the way of Christ's healing . . . not beating it into them with hell and damnation speeches that impress people or keep them awake on a sleepy Sunday morning.

It is time to become educated and DO something to stop abuse and suffering. It is time that we find that rainbow of Hope and heal those who are shattered. We must heal God's children by helping them touch the reflection of His child in their center. A good question to ask ourselves at this point might be, "What do those who need healing see in OUR reflections?" Do they see a distortion of God? Or do they see a reflection of His healing light? Do they see the light of Hope?

May God teach All of us how to heal as Christ healed. May He lead us to those who seek His light. And to all survivors of the flood I say, "May the tears of your sorrow, blend with the Light of God to create rainbows of Hope . . . for tomorrow."

Dedicated to God and to all the children who died and are with Him now.

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