My Physical Abuse, Domestic Violence Stories - My Physical Abuse Story

Written by Laura

Lex Lukester -
Comments - It had been going on for years but I didn't realize it. Plus, I was Catholic and felt strongly against divorce. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, I'm a man. We always did what she wanted and when she wanted it. From sex to weekend plans. If I wanted to go out with the guys, I had to get permission first. I'm not talking about going to strip clubs and getting blind drunk. I'm talking about watching a game on tv, working on a car. That sort of thing. My career has always been very important to me. She, on many occasions, told me not to look, that we couldn't move, to stick with a bad job or bad boss. She would frequently fly into rages, screaming, yelling, cursing, making things up, accusing me falsely. Then days later she would be all lovey-dovey. I could never predict which person she'd be. I have the disease Major Depression. I've been on medication for it since 1992. Somewhere around 1997, it started getting worse. It culminated in a suicide attempt in 2002. I'm fine now and the disease is being controlled. Guess what? She wasn't sympathetic or supportive. Instead she seized the opportunity to take control, to dominate. The topper: In April of 2002, I was laid off. I had been continuously employed for 24 years prior to that. No layoffs or firings. Needless to say, it was a huge hit to my ego. It took 15 months to find a

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job. During the unemployment period, she regularly falsely accused me of not looking hard enough for a job. She told me repeatedly that I had changed (but would never say how). Suddenly, the money became "her money". She was major breadwinner now. Yet, I still got a small pension every month and for six months I got the maximum unemployment benefit allowed by Texas. Every time I wanted to spend a bit of money, she turned me down. One example: I signed up for an informational class. The fee was $125. I got the instructor to let me pay it $25 per month. After the first month, she told me to cancel. Yet when it came to things for her and my 3 teenage daughters, she always found the money for it. She asked me to leave and told me to leave on many occasions. She never said why. This terrified me. I had no income and nowhere to go. I was most afraid of how I would get my medicine (I'm on about 8 prescriptions daily). This really scared me, almost to death. The clincher came when she told me she didn't love me anymore. She never said that she loved me without me asking first. A couple of times, she responded "I'll have to think about it". So, is this emotional, verbal and/or mental abuse? I think so. After the last "I don't love you", I said that as soon as I got a job, I would move out and file for divorce. Then, I had two hot job prospects going on. Interviews. Very positive feedback. So I started my plan. I got a post office box so I could have things mailed to me that I didn't want her to know about. Since she controlled the money, I had to find a source that she didn't know about. Then I remembered that we had account for the kids where I was the custodian. I closed those accounts and opened a checking account at a bank. So far, I hadn't taken any action that was not reversible. Then came the day when I got a job offer! I knew I could implement the rest of the plan. I hired an attorney. Then I went looking for an apartment. Before I started the job, I had to go out of town for an interview on the other one. The day after I got back, I filed for divorce. I told her that I would be out by the end of the week. The period after I moved out has been ok but with some rough spots. She still tries to abuse me, on the phone or in person. I have had to keep a distance between the daughters and me because anything I say to one of the girls, gets back to her and becomes fodder for more abuse. The divorce is plodding along. It sure seems like I will get screwed. No one will consider the abuse, not my lawyer, not the judge. All they focus on is that I make 4 times what she does. I have absolutely no problem with paying to support the kids. Well, that's the up to date news. I'm feeling fine now, better than I have in a long time. I wish anyone who reads this, the best of health and much happiness.

kym hodges -
Comments - i was in a relatoinship for 4 years he was very sweet into he started to control where i went and what i did. when i found out i was pergant he went into a rage. he said did'nt want any kids he said that they would take up all my time. i was afraid for my life and my unborn child. he would slap, choke,and throw me around iwas only 109 pounds. one time he put me in the icu ihad my babyit was a girl he loves my child very much . were not together any more but we still communacate for my childs shake.
Tara - Tkrall@honorfinance.com
Comments - I met my husband in high school when I was 17 years old. I am now 28 and have just gotten the nerve to leave him. Our relationship has always been rocky, lots of arguments, but it really went downhill when we got married. He has always verbally abused me (slut, bitch, cunt, whore, dumb, idiot, brainless, useless, etc.) But once we got married the constant criticizing started. From the way I ate, or did dishes, washed clothes, the way I looked, even the way I laughed. I felt like a constant irritation to him. I could do nothing right, ever. It got to the point where I stop talking. To anyone. I hated myself. I felt like a ghost. Then he started to poke, pinch, push, slap, punch me. He has beat every part of my body and NEVER once apologized. This is my 4th time leaving him. I have been gone 3 weeks. I have opened my own checking account, paid an attorney to file for divorce and am currently looking for an apartment. My family and friends have been my support system as well as anti depressants a support group and a therapist. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, you are and you must leave. Like I said before, this is my fourth time leaving. It only gets worse. I am finally getting some strength and looking forward to a life of peace. Take care all.

"" -
Comments - Three weeks ago I got the nerve to leave my boyfriend. It was a year and eight months of abuse. physical emotional and then sexual. We had a baby and he was responsible for her death. That was four months ago and I still coudn't leave him. I made myself believe it was my fault. His excuse for the physical was because i had a "big mouth". The emotinal because he was weak. The sexual because he thought I was cheating on him. The irony is he was cheating on me. He met her two weeks after our baby died. What I want everyone to know is that I know I didn't desrve it .I didn't ask for it, and I stayed because deep down inside I was afraid. Afraid that no one would love me because I was stupid, fat ugly, mean. I'm not.I can't help that I loved him that I still do. Even if I cry because I miss him, and because I wonder why he didn't love me, and if there is something really wrong with me that I didn't even deserve the scum of the Earth. I'm proud of me because I'm not there anymore, and I haven't gone back this time. I'm proud because I'm only 19 and I've been through hell and back and I'm still standing. I'm still alive scarred but alive, and he isn't going to be the first and last thing I think of every day. I'm proud of me even if no one else is.

jesse -
Comments - i was in a relationship that lasted,24 years...dysfunctional but is took place. I tryed to make it work for 18 years,but it didnt ...i tryed everything,including looking the other way and minding my own business.. for 18 years ,,my wife did infidelity and did it on a regular basis..then she would come home after i went out and found her and brougth her home and fixed her up.looking the other way would have been easy but she would push into my face the fact that i would get high and find other women..i told her before i started recovery that was true of both of us..thats way i stopped getting high..its been 15 years since i did that kind of thing..but she keeps making me pay for it...everyday.. well then one day she ended up finding a man and staying with him...i could not take it anymore...i tryed to talk her into staying and leaving this guy.she wouldnt..it was hard i took the kids and raised them the best i could. i took a job and went to school and raised my kids...there were three of them..i ended up finally divorcing her and getting into another dysfunctional marriage,i left one to get into another. as soon as i got involved with this women she had me quitting my job and moving to another state,and beginging anew.which i did..first thing she did was change her name to my name ,then she put her name on my bank account and put me on her account..then to make me feel good she gave me her card and told me to hang on to it..only problems ,,not much in the account.she also had me doing alot of things at first didnt seem wrong as time came and went it did seem wrong things like cleaning house and doing dishes ,,rubbing her back and never rubbing mine..as soon as i got a job my check would go to her..it would all go into bills and thats it..i didnt see any of my money at all. after 2 years..iam trying to get out,but its hard ,because i really do care about her andlove her and her 4 kids..butshe is to controling to me.. as i write this ,,iam leaving out the door and i really dont know if i can stay away ,,since ive been away 10 times before..my wife has everyone believing that iam the one who is dysfunctional and not her...now iam finally doing it ..my clergy and allthe church admin believes that iam a nut case ,for being married to her.they ask her way is she with me..even her kids say that..so iam leaving now ,but its hard.real hard..but after reading your stories ,,i knew i could get out..now iam...bye...

s58i -
Comments - i get beaten up by my little sister. i get nightmares and can't get to sleep. someone SAVE me!!!