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Page 7 of 9
Jean -
Comments - My abuse is at the workplace. My supervisor threatens to fire me if I open my mouth about her to her superior's. She also said I am not authorized to talk with her superior's for any reason. I put in a request for time off (vacation leave) twice in two years. Each time she makes negative comments on them . This time it said Jean - Do not approve anyone else for this time frame. Obviously, with staffing shortags everyone is not going to get what they want. Joyce My department does not have a staffing shortage but we anticipate one person retiring. She lied to me and said the personnel department is holding up the paperwork to fill the item. When I questioned personnel, they said they did not know anyone was retiring. Joyce never spoke with them. When I confronted her she said her superiors will probably not be filling the position as items are not being filled anymore. (This too, was her mind playing tricks). She wanted my staff to be trained to work in the mail room even though it was out of title. I am a Telecommunications Analyst. She said I have to work in mail room when a clerk is out. I believe she does this to demean me and other people I supervise. She goes past me to my employees and orders them to do things like keeping logs of the calls they receive on the switchboard with no explanation why leaving employees feeling threatened about their jobs. She makes the mailroom clerks count the boxes again doing the same type of threat to them. She, herself told me she was abused by her father so now we suffer the consequences of her not getting appropriate counseling for herself. If we go to management above her, nothing seems to change and she is supported and believed when she tells lies about people which she tells me about others. Going over her supervisor is another abusive employer who has already been to court several times for the same thing. Any advice? Any guidelines? Any way I can document and prove my case better to stop this torture? I believe because of her my blood pressure is high. When she became my supervisor and I had to deal with her abuse I got palpitations, and high blood pressure. I had cancer in the past and am afraid the stress may trigger it again. Please help me by giving some advice.
- shemickaevans
Comments - I really need a break free tip. I have been with the same man for about 8 years, since the age of 19. I have two children, 6 and 4, both boys. I have not really been physically abuse because he tried and I always seem to win!! It is more verbal, I am cheating on him, ( with everyone from my brothers to the neighborhood drunk!!). I have tried leaving him several times but he just follows me. He will slash my tire to prevent me from leaving. He will stand outside my home at 3 o clock bamming on the door for me to let him in. He insult me in front of his friends and has no respect for me and I have suffered because of it. I smoke cigarettes heavily, my hair is falling out, I has lost wieght, I have ulcers and I get migraine headache on a regular basis and now I am starting to drink more than the usual for myself. He even went to the lengths of trying to kidnapped our son. The children love him but I don't. I am tired of him and I really need help. I am so scared that he might hurt me or my children. I know that I said that he has not been physically abusive but that could all change. My uncle, who is a pastor, told me that I am sitting on a ticking time bomb and I believe him. Please give me some help on want I can do. I do not want to go to a women's shelter because I have a section 8 voucher and can move anywhere in the state. I JUST NEED HELP!! PLEASE!!! I really want away from the man. I am afraid that my children will grow up to have the same attitude that women are only good for one thing and yes he tells my children that. His mother watched him slap me one time and she locked me out of her house because she did not want to get involved, but someone needs to. The only time I get away from him is in when I go to school. And since it is my "fault" that he does not have a job he babysits. I am barely making ends met. But I would do anything to get as far away from him as I can!!! Maybe you can help by giving me some websites that have houses that accept section 8 and while I am at school I could be making preparations to get my children and myself away from this man.
Josephine Thompson -
Comments - I lived with an extremely violent abuser for almost 14 years; I reached bottom at the 12 year mark, overcame suicidal impulse, proceeded to grow--he proceeded to intensify attacks. I fled for my life with 5 children in 1987. After the horrendous ordeal of realizing the depth of harm done to us; I rebuilt, gained education and after years of work as a Trainer and domestic violence counselor I am giving back for all victims: TORN FROM the INSIDE OUT, domestive violence narrative memoir. www.TornFrom.citymaker.com
cirrus -
Comments - PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND MY FATHER.HE IS 59 YEARS OLD. MY FATHER WAS THE ONLY CHILD.HIS PARENTS WERE TOO PROTECTIVE TOWARD HIM.WHEN SOMBODY DIED IN HIS TOWN HIS PARENTS WOULD MOVE HIM IN ANOTHER VILLAGE SO HE WOULD NOT SEE PEOPLE CRY.WHEN HE WAS A CHILD HE STABBED HIMSELF IN THE EYE AND FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE HE HAD A PROBLEM WITH SELFRESPECT AND CONFIDENCE.HE GOT MARRIED AND HAD ME AND MY SISTER.ALL HIS LIFE HE REPEATED TO US THAT WE ARE ALL HE HAS: HIS DAUGHETERS, SISTERS, FRIENDS....HE WAS VERY POSSESIVE TOWARD US-NO BOYFRIENDS. I HAD THE FIRST BOYFRIEND WHEN I WAS 20 YEARS OLD.WHEN I HAD A PROBLEM AND WANTED TO TALK TO HIM HE WOULD JUMP AND CURL ON THE BED SCREAMING. HE WOULD CALL ME NAMES, WE WOULD USUALLY FIGHT, HE WOULD BEAT ME USUALLY WITH HIS BELT OR HANDS. ONCE I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH THE IMPRESSION OF HIS HAND ON MY FACE.ONCE HE GRABBED HIS GENITALS (THROUGH HIS PANTS)AND SAID HE IS GOING TO PEE ON ME.MY MOTHER WOULD ALWAYS SIT ON THE SIDE NOT TELLING ANYTHING, IF SHE WOULD SAY SOMETHING HE WOULD GRAB HIS COAT AND RUN OUT TELLING THAT HE IS LEAVING US. AFTER FEW HOURS HE WOULD COME BACK, TOUGHT. MY MOTHER WOULD TELL ME THAT IT IS ALL MY FAULT THAT WE FOUGHT. HE CHEATED ON MY MOTHER IN FRONT OF US CHILDREN. ONCE OUR FRIEND TOLD US THAT HE OFTEN COMES IN HIS STORE TO PHONE HIS MISTRESS. WHEN HE HAD A CAR ACCIDENT OUR PROMISCUOUS NEIGHBOUR WOULD COME AND STAY WITH HIM AFTER MY MOTHER WENT TO WORK AND US CHILDREN TO SCHOOL.SHE WOULD USUALLY SIT HALF NAKED ON HIS BED WHILE WE CHILDREN WOULD WATCH THAT. WHEN MY FATHER FIND OUT THAT I HAD BOYFRIEND HE WENT CRAZY. HE SAD THAT HE WILL RENOUNCE ME AS HIS DAUGHTER IN LOCAL NEWSPAPERS.HE CALLED ME A WHORE AND HE THREATENED MY BOYFRIEND AND HIS MOTHER. FOR A YEAR HE DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO ME. I DID NOT TELL YOU , BUT HE NEVER PAYED HIS BILLS. HE ASKED US CHILDREN TO LIE TO THE BILL COLLECTORS.WE WOULD LOCK OURSELF IN THE HOUSE AND SHAKE OF THE FEARE WHILE BILL COLECTORS WERE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR. HE IS PHARMACIST AND MY MOTHER WORKS IN THE MILK FACTORY. WHERE ALL THEIR MONEY WENT I STILL DO NOT KNOW. WE LIVED IN BOSNIA AND DURING THE WAR MY FATHER BEHAVED AS A LITTLE CHILD. HE COULD NOT DEAL WITH REALITY. HE WOULD SIT USUALLY CURLED ON THE BED NOT TALKING JUST LOOKING ALL DAY THROUGH THE WINDOW.MY HUSBAND AND I WENT TO CANADA AS REFUGEES, WHERE WE ARE NOW.I CALLED MY MOTHER AND FATHER TO COME AND VISIT US, BUT MY FATHER SAID HE IS AFRAID OF FLYING, THEN LAST YEAR HE TOLD ME TO LOOK FOR HIS VISA , HE IS NOT AFRAID ANY MORE. THEN A FEW MONTHS AGO HE CALLED ME AND SAID TO STOP LOOKING FOR HIS VISA BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID AGAIN.AFTER TALKING WITH THEM ON THE PHONE I AM SHAKING, CRYING AND I AM UPSET FOR HOURS. PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND MY FATHER. CIRRUS P.S. I APOLOGIZE IF MY SPELLING IS NOT CORRECT.
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