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advertisement Chapter 103 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works by Adam Khan: Suggestive Moves IF YOU FEEL LIKE YAWNING before you finish this article, go right ahead. You know how satisfying a good yawn can be. I’ve just given you a suggestion, and whether you like it or not, it has had an effect on you. Just by suggesting something, you can have an influence on people. You don’t have to boss them around or be sly to have an influence. You can merely suggest, which is easier and creates less strain on yourself and other people — less strain than either trying to command or trying to be clever. Of course, if you’re a manager or a parent, you’ll have to do your share of commanding. But much of what we want other people to do is not in the “must do” category. Most of it is simply our preference. And changing people to fit our preferences is best done with simple suggestions. We continually influence one another. Hypnosis practitioners find that we are in a semihypnotic state most of the time — our focus is limited and we are open to suggestion. If this is true, and it seems to be so, you can deliberately make the world around you better by speaking up. Say what you think. Suggest things. You don’t have to be pushy, pompous or sneaky. Just be your honest self. And while not all of your suggestions will have an effect, a surprising number of them will, often without your knowledge or even the knowledge of the other. Sometimes you will find people doing what you suggested but they have forgotten it was your suggestion — they think it was their idea. Whether you get the credit or not, whether some of your suggestions are ignored or not, one thing is certain: You’ll get more of what you prefer when you speak up than you will by keeping silent, as long as you speak up in a way that doesn’t create resistance. Suggest something. Give yourself permission to have an effect on people. I know you’ve got some good ideas in that head of yours. I think you should let them out. But it’s only a suggestion. Influence people by merely suggesting things.   How to be here now. This is mindfulness from the East applied to reality in the West. E-Squared Expressing anger has a good reputation. Too bad. Anger is one of the most destructive emotions we experience, and its expression is dangerous to our relationships. Danger It is unnecessarily limiting to label yourself shy, outgoing, Aries, Taurus, strong, weak, or any other label. Be your true, flexible self and you'll be better off. Personality Myth There may be evidence that prayer may actually have medical benefits, even if the prayed-for doesn't know it's happening. Send a Blessing advertisement   top table of contents | immediate relief of negative feelings | making changes stick share your favorite principle | my book

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