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Chapter 121 of the book Self-Help
Stuff That Works by Adam Khan:
METTLE IS A WORD you don’t hear much these days. It means a
strength of mind that gives you the ability to withstand pain or
difficulties with bravery and resolution. Mettle is a quality we all
admire. But it isn’t something you are born with. It must be
developed. It is strengthened by the way you conduct your everyday
life. Specifically, mettle is created by daily making the decision
to:
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Remain loyal to your comrades. We are social
creatures, and when you violate this cannon, you wound
yourself at the core. If you are married and find yourself
flirting with someone at work, make the decision to remain
loyal to your spouse, even if it means not getting the
admiring eyes of another. If someone is bad-mouthing a friend
of yours behind their back, defend them in their absence. When
you have committed yourself to someone, whoever they are,
remain true to them. This is one of the deepest principles of
integrity. Speak honestly and directly. We live in a world of
appearances and game-playing. It is one of the things that
makes the world a crazy place and produces so much stress.
More honesty in the world is needed and wanted, from the
smallest level all the way up. Honesty requires courage, and
it exacts a price. And although you will never be perfectly
honest, you can always improve. It is the effort to increase
your integrity that forges mettle.
Keep your word. Be careful about what you promise or
what promises you imply. Be very clear with others about what
they can expect from you and clear and careful with yourself
about what you can expect from yourself. And then do
everything you can to never disappoint. Keep your word. Think
of your word as sacred and treat it so. It produces one of the
finest experiences known to humankind: trust. People will
learn they can count on you, and you will learn you can count
on yourself.
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These are the Three Commandments of Mettle. Courage may seem like
an ancient and unneeded quality in our pampered modern era, but now
we need it more than ever. The human race is controlling the destiny
of all living things on earth, and what is needed is human
integrity. The place to start is your own. The time to start is now.
Give your spouse and children an example to emulate and you will be
doing the most concrete good you can for the future of the planet.
Remain loyal to your comrades, speak honestly
and directly, and keep your word.
Help make the world a
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Does your desire to speak honestly and directly conflict
with a strong desire to be polite? Then check this out:
Too Polite?
Being honest with the people you're close to is a difficult
business. Learn more about how to deal with the conflict
honesty inevitably creates:
The Conflict of Honesty |
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