Caution: Don't complicate your life by beginning to date too soon after a break-up. How soon is "too soon?" That will depend upon the circumstances of the breakup. Rule of thumb: Six months or more.

“Or more?” you say. Yes! Six months or more!

When you cut your finger. It takes time for the wound to heal. If the sharp edge cuts to the bone, it may take longer. A thorough healing of a broken heart takes time too.

The biggest mistakes that newly singles can make are things that most singles refuse to believe and, as a result, they soon find themselves experiencing the same relationships as in the past. It is an even bigger mistake to not acknowledge that these colossal blunders really are mistakes. Some of you may have made these mistakes more than once.

I know from personal experience that if you will evade these avoidable errors in judgment, ALL of your relationships will work better.

The biggest mistake that newly singles make is getting involved with someone else before the hurts of the past have healed. Two closely related mistakes include not taking full responsibility for their share of the problems that caused the breakup in the first place and making sure that those issues are complete before beginning again.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over and expecting a different result. Knowing your heart needs healing and refusing to do anything about it doesn't help prepare you for the next relationship. It only prolongs the agony.

How can you avoid these mistakes? By living solo for awhile.

It's time to experience how it feels to stand on your own; taking care of you, paying special attention to who you need to become to attract a passionately monogamous, infidelity-free, fun in the bedroom relationship. You must learn to stand alone again before you can again stand together. . . side by side.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't date, it only means, that when you decide to date, you must resist the urge to become intimately involved with anyone else too soon. This is easier when you date lots of people. Don’t grab the first one that comes along. Play the field. Make “having FUN” your only priority.

It’s requires a lot of effort to be in a healthy love relationship with someone else. You don’t need to expend the additional energy it will take to do that AND work on fully recovering from your last relationship at the same time. That’s just not smart. When you strain a muscle, good doctors will insist that you give it a rest if you want it to heal. That’s smart. Give a monogamous, committed relationship with someone else a rest for now.

Broken relationships take time to heal. The relationship I am talking about is the broken relationship you have with yourself. Not only must you know this, you must acknowledge that there is a problem that needs repair before the healing can begin.

We seem to drift around, not knowing what to do, blaming our ex, our mother- in-law, the cat, everyone but the real culprit.

If you want to know what the problem is in your relationships, it's very simple. Look into the mirror. There it is! You must muster the courage to look the problem straight in the eye and declare your independence from it. It’s time to take responsibility for who you are, what you do, how you think, who you date. . . everything.

The most important relationship to you right now is the one you have with you! Rebuilding a relationship with yourself must be your highest priority. This significant first step must occur before you can be who you need to be in another healthy love relationship with someone else. For the time being, spend lots of time working on preparing for love - the love that you will share with someone else in the future.

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