Putting Your Best Foot Forward
. . . or Should a Man Be Who He Really Is on the First Date?

cont.

Listen carefully. Relationships are a bit of a puzzle for most men anyway. When a man and a woman finally get together, the glaring differences show up.

Dr. John Gray, Ph.D., author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" says we must learn to recognize and understand these differences before we can effectively be ourselves in the relationship.

Only and always do your best. All the time. Not only when in pursuit. Not only when it's broken and needs to be fixed. Every day and every minute. Do what works. If you send thoughtful greeting cards, leave love notes and, for no reason, give her an occasional flower. . . continue that process. Women love romance. It's called. . . 'follow-through.' Keep on doing what works.

God wants what is best for you. You deserve only the best of everything. And it takes care and attention to your own wants and needs first, for you to be able to take on the responsibility of a committed, healthy love relationship.

Be yourself. . . right now! How sad to try to be someone you think someone else thinks you should be. It is not possible. Be the real you all the time.

Demonstrate your own authenticity. When you do, you never have to worry that six months down the road, she is going to be disappointed because she thinks the man she is now with is not the person she fell in love with.

In my "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops," single women often complain that men don't communicate their feelings. Now you know. Do that. Take a clue. Women have a desire to know the real you. Don't withhold yourself. Be who you are and if you don't like who you are, steer clear of a committed relationship for a while until you can learn to love yourself. You cannot deliver from an empty wagon. You must have love for yourself to be able to give the love your partner so richly deserves.

Men must learn to reveal ourselves to others. Let them be sure of who you are. It takes constant attention to detail. Be unto others as you would have them be unto you. Allow no miscommunication that would allow for misunderstandings. There is nothing inherently wrong with putting your best foot forward on the first date and the dates that follow unless you are only being nice for a while to get what you want. That isn't good enough. You must take care to assure her that your best foot forward is connected to the real you.

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