Habits that spell S U C C
E S S
by Elaine M. Gibson
Dr. Sylvia Rimm, in How to Parent So Children
Will Learn, offers parents precise techniques
that will lead their children to be independent
learners who know how to succeed in school and in
life. Dr. Rimm calls them "habits that
facilitate achievement." The fact is, achieving
children study mainly at a desk or table in a quiet
place although some can listen to music.
Underachievers (children who do not meet their
potential), have many non-productive study habits.
- Some simply don't do homework.
- Others believe they can study while watching
television or lying on their bed with their
headset on.
- Some believe that reading something once
over IS studying.
Characteristics of Underachievers:
- Underachievers tend to do homework only if
nagged, scolded, minded, or supervised.
- They complain about homework and avoid
quality work.
- Another group of children do homework
nightly, if they can sit with their parent
and have constant parent attention and
supervision. The child believes he can't do
it alone and parents fall for the
helplessness act.
To turn bad study habits into good ones, begin
with a time and a place set aside for school work.
- First, find the right time:
Children need to eat a snack after
school. This does not include watching
television. Once children start watching
television, they become passive and they
stop thinking. A simple rule of homework (or
reading) before television can change a bad
habit into a good one. If children can eat a
snack and play (physical activity, not video
games) for a while, they will be energized.
At least part of the study time should
come before the evening meal. If homework is
put off until late in the evening, quality
will not be possible. Homework must be
finished before television, with no
exceptions.
The amount of time depends on the age of
the child and past performance. Dr. Rimm
suggests elementary school requires 30
minutes to one hour. Middle school children
need one hour to one and a half hours. High
school students may need two to three hours
per evening. If a child has no assigned
work, time should be spent reading.
- Second, find the right place.
A place to study is equally as important
as reserving time for study. Certain places
provoke conditioned behaviors. We are
conditioned to relax in front of a
television. We are conditioned to sleep on
our beds. We can condition ourselves to
learn by studying at the same quiet place
every day. Children need a table or desk to
work at every day. Coffee table students
will complain at first, but they'll get used
to a new, productive way to study when
forced to comply.
The place should be away from parents or
parents should keep away from the place. It
is too easy to beg for help and whine if
Mother is standing close by. Dependent
learners need to be separated from parents
and forced to try solving problems on their
own. Of course parents can help, but not too
much.
Under no circumstances should parents sit with
their children night after night to do homework.
Parents can answer questions only if children have
made a determined effort to work on the material on
their own. (If this is a consistent and serious
problem, investigate things like Attention Deficit
Disorder. One on one attention helps these kids
focus and the lack of attention makes completion of
work impossible.)
- Refuse to help a child who has not read the
directions out loud to himself at least
three times.
- Refuse to help a child who can not show you
his attempts on paper.
- Refuse to help a child who wants to know the
answer and not the method.
- Refuse to argue with a child about homework.
- If there is a problem, have the child call
the teacher.
How to help children with homework
- To help a child, explain one example. Allow
the child to complete an example to check
for understanding. Then send the child back
to their desk to complete the work.
- Parents can certainly take an interest in
homework and monitor completion and quality.
There is no need for parents to check
homework or correct it. Homework is between
a child and the teacher. The teacher needs
to know what the child does or does not
understand. There is no need to know what
the parents can do.
There is hope!
For underachievers, parents will have to provide
a great deal of structure in the beginning. It is
okay to show a child study strategies and
techniques. It may be useful to show a child how to
break a large assigment down into manageable steps.
The responsibility, however, must stay with the
child.
Parents create students. Capable, independent
learners are no accident. We can help our children
learn. When a child has learning disabilities or
requires medication to focus and concentrate, the
work must be appropriate and homework must be
finished while the medications are working. The same
habits however can be learned by any student.
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