by Elaine M. Gibson

Children do need a break from the routine of school. They need time for relaxation, rejuvenation, and enjoyment just like adults. Children need time to play, but they also need structure.

Parents can provide the necessary structure by taking time to plan daily responsibilities with their children.

Children need the security of knowing what is expected of them and what they can expect from others. Planning daily chores gives children the direction they need during unstructured times, like after school and summer vacations. Free, unstructured time should be part of every day, but children also need a set time for work. Children need responsibilities and limits even during the summer. If children think someone owes them a holiday, they can soon become impossible to live with.

Children need to continue basic responsibilities, even during their summer "vacation". The vacation is from school, not from life. Children need to know that each day will include the necessary responsibilities for their own upkeep.

Summer is a perfect time to teach new skills that will enable a child to be independent of adult intervention. Without the pressure of the school routine, summer offers a time for training in specific skills and methods that enable children to take care of themselves.

Besides a sense of accountability, self-reliance is the greatest gift a parent can give a child.

Whether it is basic grooming, tying shoes, washing clothes, or preparing meals, children enjoy learning how to do for themselves. They need the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes from self-reliance. Parents will do themselves and their children a great service if they plan such training time as part of every day.

Children need to be responsible for more than just their own upkeep. Every child, from the age of two on up, needs to participate in the maintenance of the home. If a child is contributing to the household, that child feels a greater sense of belonging. Parents can provide necessary structure by giving the child a job to do and a time in which to do it.

Every child has a tremendous need to belong. We are not forcing our children to work, we are offering them an opportunity to contribute directly to the well being of the family. If their contribution is necessary, they will feel like a necessary part of the family.

In addition, home chores are a perfect training ground in lessons of accountability. Age and ability will of course determine which chores are assigned to which children. For the most part, we tend to underestimate our children's ability to contribute to the family. Every child should have one household chore that is his or her sole responsibility in addition to the personal chores. These should be included in the daily plans.

Parents can sit down with their children and work out the daily chores. The whole family will benefit from a little structure, even during vacation.