Stress Management
For Parents
Parenting can be very stressful. Whether you are a stay at home parent or a working parent, a single parent or a married
parent, mother or father, parent of one child or several children; remaining cool, calm
and full of energy can help get you through the day. Below are some simple stress
management tips and relaxation exercises that have proven useful to adults whether or not
they are a parent. By taking a moment to consider which stress management tools will work
for you and then putting them into practice immediately will help to provide the stress
management approach you are looking for and the stress relief you deserve.
How
do we get so tense
When we are worried, anxious, hurried or harried our body begins to
feel tense. Actually, this is a natural reaction. Our body is preparing us for flight or
fight. Our body has been given the signal to prepare to respond to a threat. If a real
physical danger were present, we would be able to protect ourselves by attack or retreat.
When the emergency was over, an "all clear signal" would be given and our body
would relax and return to its normal state.
In our modern existence, our mind is often bothered by many things. We
call this stress. Constant mental stress keeps our body in constant tension which itself
becomes a form of stress. We can handle stress by learning to cope with thoughts and
events so they no longer are stressful. We can also learn to relax. When we practice
relaxation, we are giving the "all clear signal." As we become better at giving
the signal we are able to trigger the relaxation response so our body will return to its
normal state.
Chronic tension affects each of us differently. Depending on the
person it can cause sleep disturbance, increased or decreased appetite, headaches, stomach
aches, poor concentration or irritability. Some diseases may be caused by or made worse by
chronic tension. Also, our immune system can be weakened. thus, making us more susceptible
to colds and other infections.
Our section titled 52 Proven Ways to Reduce Stress gives some
tips on coping. This section will help you learn Three Proven Ways to Relax. The are: (1)
Progressive Relaxation, (2) Deep Breathing, and (3) Pleasant Images.
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Progressive Relaxation
We will start with your feet and lower legs. Tighten those muscles just
as hard as you can. Feel the tension. Then gradually release the tension. Let your feet
and lower leg muscles relax just a little bit at a time. Repeat this with your upper leg
and hip muscles. Again, experience first the tension and then the gradual relaxation as
you slowly release all the tension.
Next, tense the muscles in your hands and lower arms. Make a fist.
Tighten them as tight as you can. Then gradually let them relax. With each muscle group,
the relaxation feels good. As you relax one group at a time your whole being will be begin
to feel relaxed, calm and peaceful. Repeat the tension and then gradual relaxation with
your upper arms and shoulders. Remember to tense and hold before relaxing.
Next, tighten your stomach muscles. Hold the tension and then gradually
release. Then, move to your chest muscles. Take a deep breath. Hold it while tensing
your chest muscles. Gradually let out your breath while gradually letting go of the
tension in your chest muscles.
As you have now progressively relaxed most of your major muscle groups,
you may feel a tingly sensation. You will find that your breathing has become slower and
deeper. You are now relaxed.
Try to practice on a daily basis. When you have followed the above for
about 10 to 15 sessions, try it without tensing the muscles. See if you can just relax one
muscle group at a time while breathing slowly and deeply.
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Deep Breathing
When we are tense, our breathing is often shallow and rapid. If fact,
most of us do not breathe properly, tense or not. Improper breathing robs us of oxygen
which purifies our body as well as helps our body produce energy. Fortunately, learning to
breathe properly is not difficult. Find a comfortable place to lie down. Place your hands
on your abdomen just below your ribs. Begin breathing slowly and deeply. If you are
breathing properly, you will feel the expansion in the abdominal area before your rib cage
expands. Spend 5 to 10 minutes several times a day practicing your deep breathing. You
will notice that as you become more proficient, your breathing will improve during your
normal activities.
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How to take a mental vacation.
When we think about things that are upsetting, our body tenses up. This
is because the lower centers of our brain, which regulate body functions, does not
distinguish between real images and those which are imagined. If you think about being in
an uncomfortable situation, your body will begin to respond as if you were in that
situation. Since you have probably had lots of experience thinking about things that cause
tension, you actually have all the skills necessary to do just the opposite. Imagine
something that makes you feel good.
To prepare for your mental vacation, relax your muscles and take a few
deep breaths. Then close your eyes and imagine you are someplace you enjoy. It could be
the beach or the mountains or enjoying a favorite activity. Try to fully experience this
imagined event. See the sights. Hear the sounds. Feel the air. Smell the smells. Tune in
to the sense of well-being. At first, you should allow 10 to 15 minutes for this exercise.
As you become more adept you will find that you can feel like you have been on a long
vacation or just come back from a good time in just a few moments.
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Some other ways to feel relaxed
Listening to music is very relaxing. Reading can be rewarding for many.
Enjoying a hobby can make life more fun. Research has shown that exercising several times
a week (even just a walk) can reduce stress and tension. Research has also found that
regular church attendance and daily prayer result in lower blood pressure and better
coping.
Avoid too much caffeine or alcohol. Both of these are thought to be
relaxing but they can actually make things worse. Avoid watching the news before going to
bed. Try to take one day at a time. Look for the good things that happen each day and be
thankful. Reach out and touch someone. Giving IS better than receiving. Be forgiving.
Don’t hold grudges. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. As you learn to forgive
others, use a little on yourself. Tomorrow is another day.
Remember the AA serenity prayer:
Grant me the courage to change the things I can change.
The ability to accept the things I cannot change.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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