Quest for Freedom!

~ An insight into the illness, OCD ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

My Obsessively Clean Diary

September 2001

Dear Diary,

I had a brilliant holiday!! It was just what was needed. All the years of isolation vanished as soon as I was greeted by my sister and step-brother at the airport.

It had been about 7 years since we had seen each other, but those years melted away and I soon felt at home. It was so good to spend those weeks with family and to feel part of it again. Although my sister has lived in the U.S. since I was 3, we have always been close and had a very special relationship. She has a natural way of showing affection and love and after all I have been through, it was lovely to feel loved.

We spent our time relaxing, walking, shopping and a bit of sightseeing. The second week we were there, we travelled to California to visit my neice and her husband and whilst there we went to the Napa Valley to do some wine tasting. We inevitably got very sloshed! I'm not a great lover of Red wine but after so many glasses of the stuff, it tasted quite nice! lol.

My OCD was kept in control and didn't cause any problems, there were small "incidents," but on the whole nobody would even know I had it. My sister has 2 dogs and a year-and-a-half ago, I don't think I would have coped at all well with them jumping up me with their little "contaminated" paws! But I was ok with it. I doubt if I'll ever feel really comfortable about floors. They still have this strange "dirty" image to me, and the thought of rolling around on one makes me cringe! But as long as I can cope with things like dogs paws without having to shower for hours afterwards, then that's fine. I realise that I've travelled miles in progress since I first began this "Quest for Freedom."

We were meant to spend 3 weeks in the U.S., but, of course, then the horrific events of September 11th took place the day before we were supposed to fly home, so the flight was postponed.

That moment, when the news broke of the terror, is one I shall never forget. Time seemed to stand still and changed forever. Like millions of others, we were glued to news reports and watching the events was like watching a movie. It was hard to believe it was real life......and heartbreaking to know that it was.

As our new flight date drew nearer, it was worrying for me to know how I would feel stepping on to the plane, knowing I had to put all my trust in it.....and whether I would even be able to. I was very anxious and scared but I did it and thankfully we arrived home safely.

I have been catching up on my mail and have resigned myself to the fact that summer is over and it's autumn, sigh.

The news is of Anthrax, cases being discovered every day and seeing people on the TV with protective suits on is like experiencing some bizarre OCD nightmare. I am sure these scary events will trigger more OCD cases around the world.

Well, that's about all for this entry. I hope you reading this are as well as possible and if you're an OCD'er, I hope you're staying determined!

Love and Hugs~Sani~

May God Bless the thousands of people who were killed in the horrific events of Sept 11th. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved one's or have been touched in some way by the tragedy. I can only imagine what they must be going through.

Top / Next / Diary Hompage

home / about me / inside my ocd mind / ocd diary / poetry
signs-symptoms / ocd children / ocd treatment / family & friends
bulletin board / email me