Quest for Freedom!

~ An insight into OCD ~ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

My Obsessively Clean Diary

October, 2000 continued

In the meantime, I've been to visit the friend I was telling you about. I see my own home to be very contaminated - even just making a cup of tea is a very difficult task. However, my friend's house feels relatively uncontaminated and I guess that's partly because I'm not aware of the history of it, so I am able to wash dishes, cook, go in and out of rooms, and all kinds of stuff, all by myself for the first time in years and it feels GREAT!! I have been here for several weeks now and I love the freedom I feel I have. Whilst I'm here, my husband has started to change the environment at home so that hopefully it won't feel quite as contaminated to me when I go back. I guess you could say I'm doing some Behavior Therapy of my own! The mind is a very complex thing, isn't it? I spent all those years trying to keep my home contaminate free and all I ended up in doing was creating a prison in my own home for myself and my husband! Hopefully, though, there is a light at the end of what has been a very long and dark tunnel.

I shall update this regularly to let you know how I'm doing. I know how isolating this illness can be, so I just want to say, to anyone reading this who has OCD, you're not alone! There are millions of us out there, and you can get well. At least well enough to function freely and with some normality in the world again - DON'T EVER GIVE UP HOPE! I know how easy it is to do so and to feel that maybe life isn't worth it, but please believe me, it is. Thanks for reading and drop by each month to read update's. Oh! and please visit the other pages on my site!

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