August 23, 2000

NOTE: Strong language. If this bugs you, skip to another entry.

Kristin wanted to see my panties. Ok, not really, she just wrote wondering why there haven't been many pix of me lately anywhere -- not here in the journal nor in the progress area.

Mainly because I have a very naughty digital camera that sometimes feels like working and sometimes doesn't. Maybe these batteries need changing out. They've been recharged to where they can't be recharged no more! But yes, I threw a new photo there. It's updated! Totally hadn't realized I missed almost the whole summer with no pictures there. I'm so scatterbrained lately. (Hi, Kristin!)

At any rate, thinking about looking at bodies reminded me of lunch on Tuesday with my friend Jen. We went to eat and were walking out of the restaurant and while I was struggling with my umbrella, she was taking off her cardigan to throw over her head. She was the one walking on the edge towards the street, and I was on the inside track of the sidewalk. This guy hangs out of his car and say something to the affect of "Hey, Baby!"

Jen grimaces and the guy goes, "Aw, don't give me that look!"

She ignores him and turns to me and speaks quite loudly so he can hear her.

Jen: Is this jerk saying that to me supposed to make me want to drop everything and run over there? Exactly what look did he think he'd get being so RUDE to me?

Me: I have NO idea. It's like they're from another planet and don't realize they're being assholes. (me equally loudly so he can catch it all.)

We ignore the creep and just walk on to the crosswalk while he's stalled in traffic.

Me: Would you want a relationship with a car hanger outter?! Do they really think that's a good way to find a partner?

Jen: It's like they don't even know they blew it. They could be totally cute and you might be kind of interested and then they say some rude shit like that....

Me:... and totally wonder why the hell you don't want to run and sit in their laps and smile pretty.

Jen: Exactly! Total turn off. I had this guy I met in a line talking to me for a while as we waited to for our turns and he asked if I wanted to get together and I was thinking, "Well, ok, maybe for like coffee..." and before I could answer he's like, "Yeah, we could meet up and maybe go to dinner and you could doll up and come up to me and get all freaky."

Me: WHAT?!

Jen: YES! And I said, "No thanks!" and he got all mad and said, "What? I didn't say we had to fuck!" and I looked at him and asked him what made him think he could talk to me that way -- so rudely -- and what exactly "getting all freaky" over him IMPLIED if it wasn't fucking?!

Me: That's terrible! <laughing> He really didn't get it?

Jen: No! He didn't! He acted like I had been the one who was all...

Me: Leading him on or something? Why? Because you didn't jump at the chance to get freaky on him? Puh-leez. In a way you should have thanked him for saving you the time. "You are a total asshole, wouldn't want to have a relationship with you because you are so rude and clearly socially inept, and on top of that you are not only clueless but an emotional weenie if you get mad at ME for something YOU blew. All right there up in front. Thanks, but see ya!"

Jen: <laughing> This is true. Totally saved me the trouble of a wasted date or two to find all that out! I just can't believe how dense these guys are. What's up with that?!

Then we started comparing really bad dates.

Ugh, this is something I just don't miss. It's not the single part, it's the whole meat market thing, where guys seem to think they have a right to look at women like they're walking cunts. Not human, not people, not unique individuals, just a dick cushion for their amusement.

You could be minding your own business, having a groovy day, then out of nowhere this verbal assault and remarks about your person.

Yuck.

It's been a while since I was catcalled. Never when I am out with Paul, because then I am clearly attached. After I passed 185 it also cut back. Not fitting into stereotypical "attractive" means you don't deal with crap like this. I don't look forward to that part of being at my target weight -- the whole catcalling thing starting up again.

What woman would respond positively to something so degrading? It drives me crazy when my less secure friends respond to that shit with a bat of the eyelashes and this disgusting "Well, hiiiiiiii!" Maybe they think any attention is better than no attention? Or maybe they need some kind of validation that they are pretty? But if that was the case, why would you trust the opinion of some DingDongStrangerMan hanging out of his car yammering at you instead of a more trustworthy opinion? Your own? A close friend?

I don't know.

All I know is that the only time *I'd* ever respond to a catcall with a sugary, "Hiiiiiiii!" would be if my middle finger was doing the waving.

~Astrophe