The Adolescent Depression Workbook

Chapter 2 Getting Help

cont.

FINDING SOMEONE TO TELL CAN BE VERY HARD. DON'T GIVE UP. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

You may decide that one person is the best person to tell and that he or she will be able to give you the kind of support, advice and assistance you need. Then, when you actually tell them, you find that she or he is critical of you, or you feel that he or she treats you harshly or is inappropriate in some way. They were wrong, not you. Tell someone else.

Working with Your Parents.

When you are depressed you may find that it becomes hard to get help from other people, especially your parents. However, your parents may be the very best people to help you get the help you need. In addition, you may need their support as you try to get medical assistance for payment and insurance. Things to Do Show your parents Appendix B, "Information For Parents". It will help them to understand what you are going through. You may want to share with them other information in this book. To prepare for talking with your parents you will need to decide:

• If you want to tell them individually or when they are together?
• What you want to tell them?

You have had a close relationship with your parents for a long time. Hopefully, its been a good relationship and you can tell them exactly how you are feeling, and that you would like them to help you get help for dealing with your depression. They will respond with loving support and suggestions. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, it is important that you let them know. If you have tried to hurt yourself in the past it is important to let them know that too.

If your relationship with your parents is not good, you will need to think about how much you can tell them and how much help you can expect them to give you. Then you will have to reach out to other trusted adults to assist you in getting the help you need.

Things to Do - What to do if there is no one you can tell:

If you can't think of any adult you trust enough to tell, you are not unusual. Lots of people feel that they don't have anyone in their lives they can trust, especially when they are depressed. Also, many adults, even family members, are too busy to establish good supportive relationships with the younger people in their lives. You may end up feeling isolated and lonely. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means something is wrong with our society. You deserve to have caring, empathetic adults in your life.

There are adults who care. You may not have come into contact with them yet. You may have to do some detective work. This may be hard for you because you are depressed. But it is very important.

Where to look for help: 1. Try your phone book. Most phone books have a Guide to Services in the pages at the front. There are several places you can look for help on that page, or look under Health and Mental Health in the Yellow Pages. You will find numbers for:

• the local informational Hotline, with volunteers who answer the phone and can tell you how to get help.
• emergency counseling or a mental health number that will be able to direct you to help.*
• hospitals that provide special services for people who are depressed.*
• your local general hospital (they should be able to direct you to help). Find these numbers in the phone book. Other phone numbers that may help you in your search are listed at the end of this book in Appendix C, "Phone Numbers".

2. There are several national organizations that can direct you to help in your area. Those phone numbers are listed in Appendix C, "Phone Numbers".

3. If this research is too much for you, call the operator and ask for the number of the emergency hotline. Calls made to these services are always strictly confidential. You don't have to worry that the person who answers will tell anyone else unless you ask them to. With current cutbacks in funds for mental health care, some agencies are refusing help to people who really need it. If you are having trouble reaching one of these agencies, refer to chapter 4 "Helping Yourself Feel Better Right Away" for things you can do to help yourself while you are trying to get other assistance. Remember, you will feel good again. Things to Remember when you have found someone to help you, what do you tell them?

Tell the person you choose:

1. that you are depressed.
2. that you have been depressed for _________________ (how long).
3. that you have learned that this is very serious and you need help right away.
4. to assist you in finding help because you are too depressed to do it yourself.
5. to stay with you or arrange for someone else to stay with you if you are feeling like killing yourself. (See Chapter 3 "Suicide Prevention")
6. to do things for you that you would usually do for yourself if you were feeling well, like making phone calls and arranging transportation to appointments.

Ask clearly for what you need, even though this may be very hard. Things to do:

• Insist that you get help right away. Don't wait. If you wait, the depression may worsen. If you are told to wait several days, tell them you need help NOW. Don't get off the line or stop talking with someone until you have gotten an appointment right away or have been referred to services. If you can't get to the appointment yourself, ask them to arrange transportation for you.

Next Steps: After you have gotten help for yourself, turn to Chapter 4 "Helping Yourself Feel Better Right Away" and to Chapter 5 "Using the Rest of this Book" to increase your understanding of depression, to learn how to get the support you need, and how to keep from getting depressed again.

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