Getting Well
from depression and manic depression

cont.

When negative thoughts become obsessive, I wear a rubber band on my wrist. Every time I start thinking negative thoughts, I snap the rubber band. It reminds me to refocus on more positive aspects of my life. A rubber band on my wrist is a cue to family and friends that I am working on obsessive thoughts.

Using cognitive therapy techniques to reinforce positive self talk, by treating myself better and better, and by spending time with family members and friends who affirm me, I have raised my self esteem out of the depths. When I notice I am starting to feel badly about myself (an early warning sign of depression) I repeat over and over my own personal statement of my worth. It is "I am a wonderful, special, unique person and I deserve all the very best that life has to offer".

Working with several exceptional counselors, alternative health care practitioners, and using a variety of self help resources, I have learned a variety of stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I use these techniques daily to increase my feelings of well-being, reduce anxiety and help me sleep. When I notice that I am having early warning signs of depression or mania, I increase the number of times a day I do these simple deep breathing, progressive relaxation exercises.

I have learned that I need to have a structured support system that I can call on when the going gets tough, as well as to share the good times. I have a list of five people (I keep it by my phone) with whom I have a mutual support agreement. I keep regular contact with these people. We often get together for lunch, a walk, a movie or some other activity we both enjoy. When things are getting difficult, I call on them to listen, give me advice and help me make decisions. And I do the same for them. This has been a tremendous boon to my wellness.

I met some of my supporters through regular attendance at support groups for women and for people with mood disorders. Others are family members or old friends with whom I now have a mutual support agreement.

I find that people are more willing to be my supporters now that I work hard at taking responsibility for my own wellness. They like the mutual support arrangement-it has to go both ways. When I realize a supporter is not asking as much of me as I am asking of them, I treat them to lunch or a movie, buy them a small gift or help them a chore.

My supporters like to know that they are not the only person I am depending on. They know that if they are having a hard time and can't be any help to me, there is always someone else I can call.

My counselors have helped me let go of some poor social skills that have also made it easier for me to have a strong support system.

My supporters include an excellent team of health care professionals that include a top rate woman counselor, an endocrinologist ( a physician who specializes in diseases of the endocrine gland system), several body workers and alternative care consultants. I keep reminding myself, I am in charge. If someone suggests a possible treatment, I study it thoughtfully before making a decision to proceed.

I use peer counseling a lot. I need to use it more. It really helps. I get together with a friend for an agreed upon length of time. We divide the time in half. Half the time I talk, cry, fuss, shine, shake, whatever feels right. The other person listens and is supportive but never critical, judgmental and refrains from giving advice. The other half the time is their time to receive the same service. The sessions are totally confidential.

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