Getting Well
from depression and manic depression

cont.

Through this effort I discovered that, even though I had been hospitalized at several major medical centers, no one had bothered to give me a complete thyroid test. I found that I had severe hypothyroidism (hypothyroidism causes depression) which needed to be treated. Once that treatment began, my mind really began to clear and my progress was remarkable.

I got connected with the national movement of psychiatric survivors. I began attending meetings and conferences with other people whose journeys had been similar to mine. I felt validated and affirmed. I began teaching in earnest the skills I was learning through my study to others who could benefit like I was.

With the help of several excellent counselors, co-counseling and numerous self help resources, I undertook the task of getting to know myself and my symptoms in a successful attempt to discover early warning signs of impending moodswings and, in effect, cut them off at the pass. At first, I developed detailed daily charts to assist me in this process. As I got to know myself better, I found that I didn't need to use the charts anymore.

Now, as I notice early warning signs I alleviate them with a variety of simple, safe, inexpensive or free, effective self help techniques including stress reduction and relaxation techniques, talking to a supporter, peer counseling, doing activities that I enjoy and that I know make me feel better, exercise, improving my diet, and simplifying my life.

I have discovered my diet really affects the way I feel. If I overload on junk food, sugar and caffeine, I soon find myself feeling lousy. If I focus my diet on high complex carbohydrates (six servings of grains and five servings of veggies a day) I feel great. I have gotten in the habit of keeping a variety of easy to fix healthy foods on hand so I won't succumb to the junk food trap when I don't feel like cooking.

I try to get outside for a walk every day. This gives me two things-exercise which always makes me feel better, and light through the eyes which I have found also helps. Light has been a big issue for me. As the days get shorter and darker in the fall, my winter depression begins to set in. I have virtually eliminated these winter depressions by getting outside for at least half and hour a day, and by supplementing my light for two hours in the morning with a light box.

I got rid of my electric blanket and substituted a warm comforter after discovering the hazardous effects of being wrapped up in an electromagnetic field all night. I noticed another positive upswing in my overall wellness after making this change.

I finally realized that I create my thoughts and I can change them. I have worked hard at changing old negative thought patterns that increase depression to new, positive ones. I think I will always be doing this work. For example, when my mother was depressed, she would often repeat, over and over, thousands of times a day, "I want to die". When I got depressed, I started doing the same thing. The more I said "I want to die", the more suicidal I became. I finally realized that if I said instead, "I choose to live" I felt much better and the suicidal ideation decreased.

Another thought that plagued me was "I have never accomplished anything". I decided to take a different approach. I decided I had accomplished a great deal. For a while I became quite fanatical about making long lists of things I had accomplished. Everything from getting up in the morning and completing kindergarten to two masters degrees and raising five kids was on the lists. After a while, I realized I didn't have to make these lists anymore, that this negative thought was no longer a factor in my life.

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