Good Mood: The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
Uninvited thought Activating Event Self-Comparison Analysis Response
"I never do anything Late for a I do fewer things right Dimension: Is
your timeliness Of course not right." meeting than do most people. at
meetings an important aspect of your life?.......
Even if this meeting was important, am I a By no means! rotten person for
missing part of it? .........
Let's try another example. I frequently criticize myself for conducting my
professional life very unwisely. I'll say things to myself like "If you
would only stick to one subject, and not keep moving to develop new ideas, you
would increase the chances of acceptance of some big idea, and you'd make a
bigger contribution that way." So I write that in column 1. In column 2 I
write the usual precipitating event. And in column 3 I write who I am
comparing myself with, those people who do not leap from one subject to
another.
Now I analyze the situation. I realize that there is an important benefit,
too, in my not sticking to one subject. If I had stuck to one thing from the
beginning, I would have stuck to one of my first two subjects, neither of
which was as important or interesting as several things I have worked on since
then. And at least two of the subjects that I have worked on have produced
positive results beyond my wildest dreams. Therefore, it makes sense for me to
accept the bad with the good, and realize that my "vice" of
following after new ideas has its virtues, as the French would say, and the
good outweighs the bad. It makes sense, then, not to focus on this dimension
and make myself unhappy with it. Instead I might focus on the success of some
of the things that I have done, or upon the fact that my family is healthy and
in good shape, or that (aside from controversial political issues) the world
is now in better conditions than ever before in history.
Building habits and behavioral feedback patterns offers help in keeping you
focused on appropriate dimensions. Imagine that a friend could read your mind,
and every time you were dwelling on a rotten dimension, the friend would jab
you in the ribs and say "Change that ratio" or "Count your
blessings". That assistance would be useful.
The trick is to act like that friend. And indeed, you can read your own
mind. The problem is to build the habit of changing it when a rotten dimension
comes into your mind. The solution is to "chain" the change-it habit
to some cue that can remind you to do so. For example, as I mentioned earlier,
my stomach often gets tight when I have a neg-comp in mind. I have trained
myself that as soon as I feel my stomach tighten, I force myself to smile and
to breathe deeply. And when I get on myself about something I did not do well,
and say "You silly shit", I put into action the habit I have built
of adding "Now that's damn ridiculous". Computers use a device
called an "interrupt" to break into the current program i
order to change what the computer is doing. The trick is to build an interrupt
into ever "program" in your mind that plays out a Rotten
Ratio, and chain to the interrupt an instruction to play out a program with a
Rosy Ratio. Another example from my experience: Fact 1: Thanksgiving is the
favorite holiday in my family; Rita, the kids, and I all enjoy it greatly.
Fact 2: I heard a young woman remark about writing her parents at Thanksgiving
because she could not get home. I immediately felt the jab of pain from a
negative emotion, accompanied by the thought of a stack of letters that I had
wanted to get out at Thanksgiving but are still delayed; the matter is
annoying but not the least bit serious. When I felt the sadness, I
half-consciously and half-automatically examined the uninvited thought. And my
analysis led to the judgment that the unsent letters are unimportant, and
instead I had better turn my mind to the wonderful family Thanksgiving we just
had, and the Thanksgiving I could look forward to next year.
The cause of the painful uninvited thoughts is not illogical thinking but
rather a set of connections within my brain that habitually lead first to neg-comps
rather than to happy thoughts. This means that someone like me must rewire
these connections, that is, create a new set of habits. No single insight
about the past or present can do this job. Rather, it requires sustained work.
But if you at least recognize the nature of the problem, the problem is not
insuperable, and you may even get satisfaction at the workmanship and
imagination that you evince in your rewiring job.
The bad news is that at first you do not have a set of habits to switch you
from Rotten to Rosy Ratios; if you did have them, you would not be depressed.
The good news is that the more you work on these habits, and the longer you
have them, the more effective they are, and the better they protect you from
sadness and depression.
SUMMARY
The best anti-depression strategy may be to replace the entire Rotten Ratio
with another one - that is, to turn away from that entire dimension of
comparison. There are two related sets of tactics for changing the dimension:
a) changing your priorities about the various aspects of your life, and b)
focusing your attention on the good things in your life rather than the bad
things. Both tactics call upon our capacity to direct our attention toward
some dimensions of our lives and away from others.
The device of "counting your blessings" constitutes shifting to a
more positive dimension for self-comparison. Instead of brooding on lack of
job success, you make yourself remember your family's good health. When you
lose your money in the stock market, you try to keep in mind your wonderful
children. Re-arranging your priorities is a second device for changing Mood
Rati dimensions. A frequent and important example is the person whose
actual occupational achievements do not measure up to the person's
aspirations, yet is unwilling to scale down his or her aspirations so as to
keep the denominator from dominating the numerator. The person may then
prevent negative self- comparisons by focusing attention on another related
ratio-- perhaps the person's courage in persisting against obstacles, or the
person's success in helping co-workers achieve important successes in their
work. Depressives tend to be less flexible than are other people in altering
the dimensions on which they compare themselves. But it is possible to change
your ratios of comparison by effort and will. Behavior you wish to change
Focusing on a dimension which a) you need not attribute importance to, and b)
does not reflect well upon you. Table 14-2
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