Good Mood:
The New Psychology
of Overcoming Depression
CHAPTER 18
VALUES THERAPY: A NEW
SYSTEMATIC APPROACH
FOR TOUGH
CASES
Values Therapy suits some
tough cases of depression,
where the cause of the
depression is not obvious and
easily altered. It may be
especially suitable for a
person who has suffered a
severe shortage of parental
love as a child, or experienced
over- long grief following loss
of a loved one as an adult.
Values Therapy is a more
radical departure from
conventional modes of fighting
depression than are the tactics
discussed earlier. Other
writers have mentioned and used
some of its elements in an ad
hoc fashion, and have
emphasized that depression is
often a philosophical problem
(e.g. Erich Fromm, Carl Jung,
and Viktor Frankl). Values
Therapy is quite new, however,
in offering a systematic
method of drawing upon a
person's fundamental values so
as to conquer depression.
Values Therapy is especially
appropriate when a person
complains that life has lost
its meaning--the most
philosophical of depressions.
You may wish to re-read
Tolstoy's vivid description of
this state, in Chapter 6, as
well as pages 000 to 000.
THE NATURE OF VALUES
THERAPY
The central element of
Values Therapy is searching
within yourself for a latent
value or belief which conflicts
with being depressed. Bringing
such a value to the fore then
causes you to modify or
constrain or oppose the belief
(or value) that leads to the
negative self-comparisons.
Russell describes his passage
from a sad childhood to happy
maturity in this fashion:
- Now, on the contrary, I
enjoy life; I might
almost say that with
every year that passes
I enjoy it more. This
is due partly to having
discovered what were
the things that I most
desired, and having
gradually acquired many
of these things.
Partly it is due to
having successfully
dismissed certain
objects of desire--such
as the acquisition of
indubitable knowledge
about something or
other--as essentially
unattainable.1
This is quite different from
trying to argue away the
sadness- causing way of
thinking, which is the main
approach of cognitive therapy.
The discovered value may be
(as it was for me) the value
that says directly that
life should be happy rather
than sad. Or it may be a value
that leads indirectly to
a reduction in sadness, such as
the value that one's children
should have a life-loving
parent to imitate.
The discovered value may be
that you are unwilling to
subject people you love to the
grief of having you respond to
your depression by killing
yourself, as was the case with
this young woman:
- My mother died seven
years ago by her own
hand...
I can't imagine what
[my father] must have
felt when he found her.
I can imagine how my
mother must have felt
as she descended the
stairs to the garage
for the last time...
I know. I've been
there. I tried suicide
several times in my
life when I was in my
early 20s and was quite
serious at least
twice....Besides
actually attempting
suicide, I've wanted,
wished and even prayed
to die more times than
I can count.
Well, I'm 32 now and
I'm still alive. I'm
even married and have
moved from a
secretarial position
into entry-level
management...I'm alive
because of my mother's
death. She taught me
that in spite of my
illness I had to live.
Suicide just isn't
worth it.
I saw the torment my
mother's death caused
others: my father, my
brother, her neighbors
and friends. When I saw
their overwhelming
grief, I knew I could
never do the same thing
she had done -- force
other people to take on
the burden of pain I'd
leave behind if I died
by my own hand.2
The discovered value may
lead you to accept yourself for
what you and your limitations
are, and to go on to other
aspects of your life. A person
with an emotionally-scarred
childhood, or a polio patient
confined to a wheelchair, may
finally look facts in the face,
cease railing at and struggling
against their fates, and decide
not to let those handicaps
dominate their lives but rather
to pay attention to what they
can contribute to others with a
joyful spirit. Of they may
devote themselves to being
better parents by being happy
instead of sad.
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