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We have million-and-one meditation stories. These are perhaps
good entree's to further stories. If you have been trying to
meditate, either just beginning or for a long time, you will
identify with these.
There is nothing like a meditation session to make you really
aware of what the hell your mind is saying to you. The mind can be a
tricky customer and we need to be on our game much of the time to
catch it in the middle of a huge mind trip.
Doris was attending the first session of a meditation class. She
felt this was the way to go, but still had some reservations about
this thing called meditation. After the instructions on how
to meditate had been given, everyone settled back into a comfortable
position to try it out.
The instructor had been specific about letting go of thoughts.
"What does that mean," thought Doris. The music began and
Doris started out quite well, bringing her mind back to her breath
... in ... out ... in ... out. All of a sudden a thought flashed
through her mind: "What if I'm the only one doing this? What if
they are all sitting there watching me? I'm making a fool out of
myself."
She suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness move through her
body. Every part of her body seemed to tingle from the gaze of a
room full of people looking at her, and probably laughing at her,
behind their hands. She fought the urge to open her eyes to check
out this thought. So it was for 15 minutes. She sat fighting every
urge in her body to open her eyes.
When the meditation session was over, the instructor went around
the room checking everybody's meditation. Everybody had apparently
been meditating (or trying to). The instructor beamed at Doris when
she disclosed how "well" she had meditated.
"Ahhh!" said the instructor. "This is good. Now you
truly see how powerful the mind is. The thought was totally wrong,
no one was looking at you, but you gave the thought the power. You
believed it and so your body reacted to the thought until you
actually felt the gaze of others eyes on you. The
mind created the whole thing. Now, can you see it is the same case
with your Anxiety Disorder thoughts? You give them the power."
Doris did see this, from experience now. "That's
amazing" she thought "and I thought I had a terrible
meditation." The mind will tell you anything!!!
Meditation can work
Personally, I had disliked meditation initially. Hated it!!! My
perception of meditation has changed completely. Over the years, I
have personally seen some truly wonderful things with regards to
meditation. One example which sticks in my mind is the lady in her
80's. She had experienced Panic Disorder for close to 60 years in
silence and isolation. Her face bore the brunt of this weight. You
could actually she the burden she carried and the suffering she must
have endured.
During the break in one of the Anxiety Management programs, she
came up rather timidly and asked whether it was possible for her to
recover.  Absolutely,
I informed her, it is never too late. In fact, I had seen a lady
much like her (age and length of experiencing Panic Disorder)
recover totally and was now free from panic and anxiety. She smiled
at me uncertainly. She related that the doctors had told her for 60
years she would never recover. Never! I told her "That is no
longer true."
We headed back into the seminar room to continue the program.
Meditation was the next port-of-call. After much instruction on how
to meditate, the lights were dimmed and my favorite Pachelbel
Canon C was played for background music. For twenty minutes
everyone in the room meditated. I quietly sat in the corner watching
in case someone needed me. I saw the old lady. As time passed in
meditation, I visibly saw the weight of the world lift from her
face. Her face became peaceful. The lines on her face softened. I
felt tears fall down my face. At the end of the 20 minutes I checked
everyone's meditation. Some good, some bad. All the lady could do is
beam at me, her face soft and peaceful and almost seemed to be
glowing. Her burden was lifted and SHE knew now that she could
recover too.
Even now, as I think of her, wishing with all my heart for her, I
feel tears fall down my face. Meditation works in so many ways that
I can't even begin to explain.
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