Chapter 6

A SHORT GUIDE FOR THE FOCUSING "COACH" (cont.)

II. The main body of the guide to the focusing "coach"

A general introduction

People who wish to begin learning the focusing technique and contact you will be at different levels of knowledge, as well as having very different ideas about the help they require. Misunderstandings about the roles you are willing to fill are better dealt with in the first session. Following are typical situations and problems, and the recommended ways to treat them:

1. The new trainee may know another focuser from whom he has heard various details about the focusing technique, or have got a text describing it - perhaps he has even tried it before.

   The best thing to do is to question him about the knowledge he already has, and about his previous focusing experience. You can then assess what is the most suitable approach to this specific trainee, and where to begin his training.

2. The new trainee got your phone number from somebody or from a publication, but does not know anything more about the technique than the rudimentary facts, i.e. that it differs from conventional psychotherapy and that it is a mainly nonverbal treatment for problems.

   The best approach is to start with a short explanation about the activation programs (of the brain). About those that execute our decisions to initiate physical activities, like walking, scratching an itch or working with tools; and about the mental ones that do our thinking for us, like those that multiply four by three.

   Then, explain the basic role of the natural biofeedback processes as a "manager" of all our bodily and mental activities, and the function of the felt sensations as regulators of attention. Compare "their request for attention" to the toddler who pulls his mother's apron to get her attention. The last point in the introduction is the explanation of the relationship between the focusing on a felt sensation, and the mending, updating and upgrading of the various activation programs related to it.

3. The person who calls knows nothing about the technique, but has heard that you can help him: it is worth telling him even on the phone that you are teaching the focusing technique, and not practicing any of the conventional psychotherapies; that you are pleased he has called but he better think (for a moment or a while) if he is open to unconventional ways.

   It is still not uncommon for people who are not well acquainted with the "miracles" happening to focusers, to lack a sufficiently open a mind for the focusing technique. It is better to tell them beforehand what to expect in order to save many misunderstandings and disappointments. Thanks to a proper explanation given in time, even those who do not guess what they had bargained for, can get over the surprise and embarrassment and become diligent focusers.

4. And there are of course those who always know better, even among those who know a good deal about focusing. Most of these are people with a long experience as patients of psychotherapists. They will try to place you in the role of conventional therapist, so that they may be able to take the role of the patient. The best remedy is to tell the trainee that you feel things are developing towards this kind of relation. Then, if you are not a trained (or licensed) psychotherapist, the best way out of this trap is to tell the trainee that you are not one, and return to the focusing schedule.

   If you are still an active therapist or have retired from practice, you will have to explain and even stress the reason you are seeing him as a trainee and not as a patient. You will also have to make the frustration of his urges more gradual, and to be strong enough not to yield to his regressive wishes.

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