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continued
My brother came home for Christmas 1996 and convinced me to move
out of New York. I had 2 choices, move to Minneapolis and be close
to my brother or move to North Carolina and be close to my sister.
Although I had always been closest to my sister, I decided on
Minneapolis for reasons which didn’t make sense to me at the time,
however they proved to be correct. Something inside of me kept
nagging that I had to move to Minnesota because my future husband
was waiting there for me. I moved to Minnesota and sure enough, the
day after I got there, I met my future husband.
During my first year in Minnesota, I was still jumping from
job-to-job. I found a decent job in a furniture store as an in-house
Interior Designer. However, the longer I stayed there, the longer I
realized this wasn't what I wanted. But I didn’t really know what
I wanted.
I was getting married in April 1998 and decided that when I left
for my honeymoon, I was leaving there for good. This time, I would
find something more fulfilling.
We got back from our honeymoon and I started to look into myself
again to see where I was going next. I didn’t really have to worry
about money anymore because my husband was making three times my
earnings and encouraged me to find my dream.
During this period, I had a "spiritual awakening." I
found through retracing my patterns from childhood, that somewhere
along the line, I lost faith in myself. I saw myself as inadequate.
Those feelings related to my increase in weight and my lack of what
I called a decent salary. This is where I needed to do my work. I
first needed to love and value myself in order to be valued by
others.
I found that once I recognized what it was that I must do, an
immediate recognition of spirit came over me. I no longer blamed the
people in the past who hurt me. Instead, I joyously thanked them out
loud while dancing around my living room while a whirlwind of
emotions came over me. Without their harsh words and judgments, I
would not have so profoundly recognized that I am perfect, the way
God made me. Without those harsh judgments, I would not have
recognized that I did not love myself. I recognized that in
accepting myself fully, I discovered the unlimited supply of love
that I could now feel within. I could now see what I was sent to do.
I needed to teach others to love themselves by showing them the
methods that I used to uncover my own divine spirit within.
It is through this work with myself and the lessons that I
learned through spirit, that I am meant to teach others to love
themselves. This is my purpose, the contract that I signed before
birth that I must fulfill in this lifetime. I pray that you find
that this is a useful tool and find that your life flows more
smoothly with an abundance of joy, health, wealth, and love.
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