The Inner Journey
Getting Off the Roller Coaster
PROJECTION:
Upon coming out of the event that had brought significant changes to my
life, I found myself floundering in a new state of emptiness and insecurity. I
would desperately try and find something to hang on to that would restore me to
a former state of existence. My first natural reactions were to review my past
and wonder where I went wrong; I would wonder what alternatives of living could
have prevented my new circumstance. In looking backwards or forwards in time, I
would PROJECT my thoughts out of the reality of the present and try to become a
part of an illusion.
This very normal practice is called upon many times in every day of our
lives. To refresh our memory after an absence of concentration is to project.
To recall what we wore yesterday so we can wear clean clothes today is to
project. To be able to understand this chapter, you will have to project so
that your feelings can be compared in order to find understanding and meaning.
If we are happy, and we look at a photograph of happy times, our projection
re-enforces our existing happiness. Likewise, if we are sad and we dwell on the
events that have brought us pain, then our sorrow also shall be re-enforced.
I have found a simple source of Peace from the belief that in the present
moment, I have everything that I need for that moment. I say this because I
have always had and maintained a belief that no matter what the circumstance, I
would always be able to find some aspect of a given situation that could be
used for my own good.
This long time belief of mine has now been validated for me through the
freedom I have obtained from adapting this philosophy when I most needed it. In
trying times, such thinking is difficult to maintain, but for me, somehow this
unshakeable belief would always be there for me when all else made no sense.
When there is a need for a major adjustment to your life and you are
experiencing deep emotions such as Grief, Anxiety, or Brokenness, within the
pain of the moment you would think that such thinking would be the last thing
you need, but if you yearn for someone or something that gave you Love or
pleasure, then the situation that arose to remove those things from your life
came about through circumstances that needed attention and a necessity to be
resolved. Even when you experience the depths of grief and loneliness, the pain
of a broken heart, or any other emotion which seizes upon you, such intensity
is serving your personal development through the enforced activation of
awareness to Yourself, your situation, and your Truth.
I can now see the separation from someone who was once dear to me as a need.
At the time I could not see this since my desires were not being fulfilled.
Poets and Lovers say within their bitter sweet laments that ...
"You took a part of me when you left".
Within such words lies a subtle truth. When we are without peace, it can be
said that we fragmented, and when we yearn for a part of our life that no
longer exists; there is truly a part of us that is still attached to that
aspect of the past. Indeed, that "part of me", that the poets write
about, is in fact essentially somewhere else. Ironically, when we can truly
let go of the object of our yearning, that "part of us", can then
come back to unite us with ourselves and allow us to feel at Peace once again.
We are then WHOLE once again.
Again in retrospect, since there was a particular aspect of my life that was
not serving my ongoing need for Love and comfort, something had to happen in my
life that could enable me to live the sort of life I have always wanted. In
short... I had something to LEARN. When I felt pain in the separation, it was
because I was associating with an illusion, I was not in the present, I was
some where else.
Within such circumstances, knowledge can be a saviour that will help us
regain our peace. This knowledge has it's roots in the word CHOICES. We
do not need to be a slave to suffering, and we need not be at the mercy of
lingering emotions. We can choose to stay within our sorrows, or we can choose
to acknowledge the past as that which cannot serve us anymore. Here we can also
choose to call on courage and begin a new start to life and a
new self-respect.
top | continued |
download book
home | about
me | i am the
heart | getting off the roller coaster
short discourses |
|
