Bullies on Parade - 11/15/97

Moving around a lot when I was little was not a good thing for a me as a child. I heard people say, "They're just kids, they'll be fine. They'll make new friends."

No, it's not fine. And, it takes what seems forever to a child to make a group of new friends when your the new person. I remember we always moved in the middle of the school year which placed me in the Limbo Zone. In the Limbo Zone there are no neighborhood friendships or allies developed in the summer break, no one to walk to school with, no one to play with on the playground, and there are the bullies to deal with.

The 1997 research now shows that children who were traumatized by bullies grow up with anxiety problems and problems with depression as adults. Life never feels safe for them again.

I saw a program the other day on the topic of bullies. I was most interested in hearing what the answer to the following question, when asked by the host:

Here are the answers that were given by the Child Psychologists on the panel.

• Ignore them
• Use humor
• Tell a teacher
• Yell for help
• Run away

So what happens when you ignore a bully? Well it's been my experience that they get even more hostile and bully you even more. They are trying to get the attention and power they wanted in the first place and by ignoring them, you are denying them what they wanted desperately in the first place.

So what happens when you use humor with a bully? Well it's been my experience that they put you down even more, because you are competing with them to be the center of attention which is why they are being a bully in the first place.

So what happens when you tell a teacher that someone is bullying you?" Well it's been my experience that they do very little. They seem to be under the assumption that they are not responsible for your safety on the playground, the halls, or in the bathroom. Or, they think you are making a big fuss over nothing.

So what happens when you yell for help? Well it's been my experience that bullies try and keep a distance between themselves and authority figures. They conduct their covert terrorist activities in places that take time for someone to respond to a call for help. Short of staying within ten feet from an adult who could help, there is not much a child can do.

So what happens when you run away from a bully? Well it's been my experience that they find you the next day and continue with the torture all over again.

Bullies are criminals at any age. They rob other people of a sense of safety. Child bullies get away with things that adults would be arrested and jailed for. Our constitution guarantees "Life. Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Children who are being traumatized by bullies are being denied these basic rights.

Here is my opinion on what to do with bullies. First, recognize that bully behavior is a criminal act. Second, when ever a child is reported as a bully, they are required to report to the office where their picture (a mug shot) will be taken. This picture will be posted at every entrance to the school for all students, teachers, and administrative personal to see for 90 days. If there are no complaints filed against the bully for 90 days the mug shot will be removed. If more than three complaints are filed against the same child, they are automatically flunked, they are kicked out of school, and they are required to return next year to try and get through that grade level again.

Sound too severe? Let's take a look at the cost of Health Care in the United States. It's estimated that millions of dollars each year are spent on Mental Health related illness related to depression and anxiety, not to mention the money spent on addictions associated with the emotional pain people are trying to dull due to the same illnesses. One of the major causes of these problems is being abused in some way as a child. Bullies are child abusers. Age of a bully is of no concern. Their ability to abuse another is not based on their age. Whether there is a bully in the home or at school, the damage is being done and the Health Care expenses are forthcoming.

So as a society do we want to pay for the cost of bully problems later in life or do we want to save some expenses down the road by working on a solution now?

I vote, . . . now.

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