HealthyPlace.com Addictions Community

Addictions chat, forums, news, info

The Art of Healing

Home
About Me
Book Preface
Section 1
Section 2
Section 3
Disclaimer
Editorials

back to
addictions issues
community

send this page
to a friend
advertisement

 

advertisement

In Addition,

The Watch what I say list
Watch out when saying _________ . Abuse may occur

Saying . . . . .

  •  
 - "No" (recognizing a limit or boundary that's healthy).
  •  
 -  "That hurt's, don't do that!" (recognizing a boundary that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm scared" (expelling pain, fear, recognizing a boundary).
  •  
 - "I'm bored"
  •  
 -  "I'm sick" (recognizing a limit; that's healthy and expelling pain).
  •  
 - "I'm injured." (recognizing a limit that's healthy and expelling pain).
  •  
 - "I'm tired." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm not strong enough." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm not big enough." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm not old enough." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm not tall enough." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm angry." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - "I don't know." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I don't understand." (recognizing a limit that's healthy).
  •  
 - "I'm sad." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - "I'm frustrated" (recognizing a limit that's healthy and expelling    pain). 
  •  
 - Child's version:"I can't do this, it's too hard"
  •  
 - "I'm ashamed." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - Child's version: "I feel bad, icky, etc."
"I'm lonely." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - Child's version: "I can't find anyone to play."
  •  
 - "I'm upset." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - "I don't like this." (learning to choose).
  •  
 - "I don't like you." (learning to choose).
  •  
 - "They hurt me." (learning to choose).
  •  
 - "I don't like them." (learning to choose).
  •  
 - "They don't like me." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - "They're teasing me." (expelling pain).
  •  
 - "They're calling me names." (hurts me, expelling pain).

"Watching out" in each situation above, has one thing in common:

The parent's need

The parent's need of:

  • Not hearing emotional pain
  • Denying age appropriate limits (the object of addiction becomes "not easy to use")
  • Avoiding conflict in order not to re-experience the "terrorhood" of their own childhood abuse
  • Using a child in an addictive or drug-like way to not feel bad

The list would exclude any act which constitutes setting safe boundaries for a child's physical and emotional safety.

top | next | table of contents

home | about me | preface | section 1 | section 2 | section 3 | appendix
references | disclaimer | editorials | send page to friend






advertisement

 

{short description of image}

Home to HealthyPlace.com

Chat Forums Communities Healthyplace Radio Support Groups
News Bookstore Site Events Web Tour
Advertise Email Us

Search HealthyPlace.com

© 2000 HealthyPlace.com, Inc. All rights reserved. Terms of Use Privacy Policy Disclaimer