From the previous page:

Whether it is a man or a women, when I find myself needing to lie to cover up fear (repress myself), it's a good cue that I don't feel safe at the moment and need to decide if I want to change listeners, the listening environment, or the concept I have of the listener. In this way, I reduce the expulsion inhibitors in my safe listening environments. Expulsion inhibitors will use destructive control behaviors (choose to see Control Behaviors that Hurt) during expulsion. If it feels like the listener is reacting (using a destructive control behavior) to what I'm expelling, instead of listening and allowing me to expel, they are addicted to me in the conversation and have become an expulsion inhibitor. I can choose to be without expulsion inhibitors in my safe listening environments.

Double Binds

The second factor to consider in expulsion are double binds. Below are some double binds in which the conflicting choices of action are: One feeling verses another feeling. Double binds block cycles from being resolved.

The need to cry

vs

The shame experienced in crying

The need to Care for myself as an expression of Self Love

vs

The shame experienced in Self Love

The need to laugh out loud

vs

The shame or fear of laughing out loud

The need to expel anger and resentments

vs

The fear of expelling anger

The need to expel feelings

vs

The fear of feeling

The need to grieve

vs

The lack of knowledge on how to grieve (or terror)

Stress cycles that are blocked by double binds, in which the conflicting choices of action are, one feeling verses another feeling, become:

A Journey to resolve. . . .

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