Expulsion Inhibitors

Article II

Caged
(cont.)

As with the Doberman, I like so many other men have caged women out of shear terror and resentment. The cage is called oppression. Paulo Freire speaks of oppression in his work entitled "The Pedagogy of the Oppressed." The oppression may manifest itself in many forms. The form most often used is the "repression of self awareness." Freire writes, "Indeed, the interests of the oppressors lie in "changing the consciousness of the oppressed, not on the situation which oppresses them"; for the more .i.the oppressed; can be led to adapt to that situation, the more easily they can be dominated (The Banking Concept of Education 209)." By repressing consciousness or self awareness, the oppressor may effectively keep the oppressed from realizing how to control or break free from their oppression. It is kind of like saying, "Take what you get, because as you see, this is all there is." And, if you believe that this ,(what ever this might be for you), is all there is, you would probably accept it and not question about growing beyond your circumstance. The choices that you believe you have, are limited to what you see or have been trained to see.

I see my own oppression as a male. Our culture oppresses men by training them to be disposable people. We are oppressed, repressed, and depressed. Our culture demands us to discard our pain and feelings in order to become good disposable people. We do this because we believe these to be our choices. In order to become a good male in our society, we are expected to become aggressive and warlike with the repression of our feelings of pain, sorrow, grief, sadness, fear, terror, anger, and all the other feelings that would prohibit us from becoming good disposable people.

When we look beyond the choices we think we have, we will be stepping out of the world of the oppressed. Freire speaks of "Problem-posing" in which men develop their power to perceive critically the way they exist in the world with which and in which they find themselves; (The Banking Concept of Education 216)." This means to look beyond the choices presented and not take things at face value. And, if we do take something at face value, to realize that there is always something new beyond this, even though we may not know what it is at the moment.

Adrienne Rich speaks of her oppression specifically from her women's' point of view. As I read "When We The Dead Awaken: Writing as Re-Vision," I became aware that Adrienne has never considered the "male experience" in her conclusions. She does not understand how the oppressed, become the oppressors. The male experience includes the oppression or repression of "self." (the "self" of a person is all of what we would think and feel without any outside forces acting on our thoughts or feelings). In turn the repressed (or oppressed male) becomes the oppressor. The oppressed male oppresses that which which he feels has oppressed him (namely the Concept of WOMEN and the Training to be Disposable). As a result, Adrienne (or her "self"), has become oppressed by forces which are confusing to her. Her poems reflect the confusion and anger she feels. What she fails to see, is that the oppression she feels, is that of mans' own feelings of oppression, being transferred onto her.

The repression of women is not done out of some conscious and vicious effort to do so, but out of the fears that the oppressor has about the oppressed. I cage or oppress the Doberman out of fear. If I had no fear of the Doberman, I would have no reason to control it, dominate it, or repress it.

Asking a women to dance may be the most painful male experience next to public speaking. Considering the terror involved in how men view women, I might as well be asking the vicious Doberman to dance. Metaphorically, "Will she lick my hand or bite it clean off?" People develop their self worth at an early age through the people who take care of them. The adults who bestow self worth onto to us are very powerful people in our eyes as youngsters. In our society, the women have had the majority of this responsibility. Pleasing a women then becomes entangled with survival at an early age for most men. The myth we believe is that in order to survive, we must keep mommy (a women), happy with us. This makes the concept of WOMEN (since mommy was a women), all powerful. And combined with our experience of birth, almost god-like. This causes a great deal of fear and terror which in turn causes an unconscious need to control, dominate, and oppress that which we fear. Sam Keen, author of "Fire In The Belly," speaks to many of these truths for men in our society (the concept of WOMEN).

Adrienne Rich speaks of her journey through oppression. She illustrates her journey by examples of her poetry and how it changes from a closed, or repressed form, to an open form. Her statements evolve from being focused on people around her to statements which include the word "I," which illustrates that she is becoming more self aware. I have compassion for her frustrations and respect for her rage, but no more so than I have for my own frustrations and rage about becoming an oppressed male.

She is aware of her own oppression, but can't see beyond the oppressor. She should look beyond the oppressor to the circumstances which require to the oppressor to oppress. In "Aunt Jennifer's Tiger" she speaks of "The massive weight of Uncle's wedding band." She has made the mistake of assuming that her oppression must have something to do with the males in her society or the fact that she isn't male. Her reality is very narrow. She forgot to explore the explanations beyond gender or role. The victim role she plays throughout her work is most apparent in "Planetarium" where she refers to the "Galaxies of women, there doing penance" as if they are being punished some how for being woman. The rage she has is just that. In "Snapshots of a Daughter-In-Law" expresses a lot of that rage with statements like "Banging the coffee-pot into the sink," "she'd let the tap stream scald her arm," and "a match burn her thumbnail." Well all I say is a sarcastic, "Thanks for sharing Adrienne." Adrienne's' war on men oppressing women is like President Bush's' war on drugs. Bush says the answer is to do battle with the drugs and the drug dealers instead of dealing with the reason why the drugs are being used by the consumer. Adrienne says the answer is to do battle with the men instead of dealing with the reason why men oppress women. Both problems go beyond the surface of what we readily see. And, by not dealing with the underlying issues, we just create another social band-aid that covers up a festering wound which can't heal because it remains covered without fresh air.

The cage of oppression is not about gender. The cage is about terror. The terrors of war and the terrors of life. When men begin to see women as people and not as gods who gave them birth, the terror will subside. When more men become involved in raising children so that young boys don't grow up to become men who get caught up in trying to please mommy for their self worth the rest of their life, the terror will subside. When wars become obsolete and our culture stops training disposable people, the terror will subside. And, when all the terror subsides, the oppression may begin to heal. Until then, asking a man to un-cage (or not oppress) what he is scared to death of, is just one more attempt to ask a man to put his fears on hold again and repress him even further. I consider this to be unjust and inhumane to ask of any person, male or female.

end.

I see that choosing to relate to women "one on one" instead of as a concept (the concept of WOMEN), I reduce the expulsion inhibitor of: The concept of WOMEN.

Having a healthy sense of detachment is the working foundation for an intimate relationship.

We heal in relationship with ourselves and with others.

By choosing to detach from the concept of WOMEN, I am able to create a sense of safety for myself based on the person and not a concept. I reduce the expulsion inhibitor by choosing to change the perception I have of the listener.

Whether it is a man or a women, when I find myself needing to lie to cover up fear (repress myself), it's a good cue that I don't feel safe at the moment and need to decide if I want to change listeners, the listening environment, or the concept I have of the listener. In this way, I reduce the expulsion inhibitors in my safe listening environments. Expulsion inhibitors will use destructive control behaviors (choose to see Control Behaviors that Hurt) during expulsion. If it feels like the listener is reacting (using a destructive control behavior) to what I'm expelling, instead of listening and allowing me to expel, they are addicted to me in the conversation and have become an expulsion inhibitor. I can choose to be without expulsion inhibitors in my safe listening environments.

top | next | table of contents

home | about me | preface | section 1 | section 2 | section 3 | appendix
references | disclaimer | editorials | send page to friend