Your Top Tips And Success Stories

Doing a Heslop - I was reading your Dad's Tips on Friday and sniggering over the "Doing a Heslop", particularly as the cable T.V. here is doing a re-run of "Porridge". Later on that day, my six year old ADD wonderful daughter Anna and I were walking home from her ADD best friend's house where they had been rampaging around happily for an hour or so. By then she was throwing a huge wobbly, sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs, "I don't want to go home!", etc., etc. Bear in mind that this is in China!! People walking past were looking at me as if I was The Cruellest Mother In The Entire World....What could I do? I did a Heslop! I couldn't actually think of any change of subject, my mind was blotted out by her wails of despair, the humidity and high temperature, the glares of passers by. So I casually remarked, "My mother went to Sidcup!".

Stunned silence from Anna. I went on to wax lyrically about Sidcup for several minutes, enough to get us almost home before she cottoned on and got back to her favourite subject again, namely the desire not to go home...

So, thankyou! Here in the crowded and polluted and alien streets of Taipei, you were firmly blessed and thanked for your helpful tip which reduced me to giggles amid the terrible tantrum that was going on by my side. Ten minutes later, she was transformed into an angelic child (almost) by the administration of vast quantities of food.
Hurrah! Porridge is on tonight!
By the way, I really enjoy your web site.
Greetings and thanks from the Far East.

Judith, Taipei, Taiwan.

Tips on getting kids to sleep and keeping them asleep. - Getting them to sleep is the standard routine of calming down and setting up patterns which they feel happy with. More complex patterns with ADHD kids than with 'others'. Thick curtains helps, cuddly toys, video and audio tapes. A friends son settles down with 'digital art' video tapes. My son, Richard (Yes, another Richard! ....Ed), likes a relaxation audio tape called ZONK. He also keeps a lucky charm, a smooth piece of marble, which we have assured him (by delivering it in a box along with an antique looking piece of art work from a red Indian tribe...)will ward off evil spirits at night. Tape recordings of washing machine and vacuum cleaner have worked well to settle other kids. Richard likes red or orange bed sheets. A friends son insists on terry toweling sheets. A child I fostered wanted a sleeping bag into which he stored all manner of items....it needed regular washing! Stars stuck to ceiling (toy shop).

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Once asleep it is a case of keeping them asleep. The best thing I found was to buy a loudly ticking clock (in our case it is an older type wind-up travel clock which is inside a tobacco tin) this is kept beneath the pillow, or mattress...the ticking seems to keep them settled down. Richard gets hot at night...so has windows wide open and sleeps with a cold-water bottle...even in winter! Richard is given a tablet KALMS...which is a homeopathic thing from health food shop...it says it calms and relaxes. one tablet is pretty useless in fact (I took 6 and felt nothing at all!)..he trusts it however and believes it works. I have also given a syrup-based vitamin thing..a spoonful at night, delicious, with loud comment along the lines of "if this works so that you don't wake me before 7.30am then I will give it to you every night even though it is terribly expensive!" ....it worked until he saw a new bottle in my shopping bag and read the label...I had to act shocked. it was awful that drug companies were using the same bottles for different products and that a person could be tricked into buying the wrong stuff ...I would be writing to tell them off etc...I would have to buy something else just to make sure he wasn't poisoned!

Let me know if any of this works! Pass on to others of course if useful.

Chris G, North Somerset, UK.

Home Schooling Tips:
My son has been out of school for almost three years.  He has many difficulties and structuring lessons along with encouraging motivation has been somewhat like trying to train an elephant to knit! I have developed some strategies which have proved helpful: My son receives home tuition from LEA funded tutors for a few hours in the mornings. Some of these sessions are of social content rather than being academic based and I feel a need to try to add a little to his academic education myself. We don't work every day, but when there is a day which is 'social' then I aim to work with my son myself for an hour or so. I begin by agreeing a time for work to begin and set a token reward for my son being 'at table' at the agreed time. I am given a token for being ready also...so this soon sets itself in place as he loves to 'catch me out'.   Work has to be split up into small sections, my son can't cope with a work book, but happily works to complete a photo-copied page in worksheet form ('10 out of 10' have worksheets which match their software).  Work sheets are given out singly and when my son tires then we leave the table and move to the computer before he starts to complain. My son works well with computer based programmers, so I limit the time he spends, leaving the work almost uncompleted. We work with CD ROMs and Internet resources. We then move to art or craft projects for a while. Returning to computer for a final session.  After each section of work a token reward is given, my son gives me a token also, unless I have left him to answer phone etc...which he judges to be 'off task'. At end of each session of working we total rewards (we use colored paper clips, stickers or ink stamps on our arms) and the person who has earned the most receives a wrapped gift (sweets, coin in a matchbox, foreign coin, few foreign stamps, interesting pebble, cheap novelty, Christmas crackers).

I hope that some of these ideas work for others as they do for us. There are still problems sometimes, when all the 'agreements' in the world fail to encourage compliance with expectations. I try not to lose heart at these times and can usually 'save the day' by noting my sons negative stance before his behavior escalates, I then smile and say "Oh bother...I'm not really in the mood to teach you now! Shall we bake some cakes or something instead, do you mind very much?" this throws him off the defiant route completely!

Chris G, North Somerset, UK.

ADD/ADHD is Real and it is not an excuse
Hi!! I just wanted to say that my son who is 9 has ADD/ADHD and I knew it for a long time and that many people think it is an excuse but it really isn't. Finally Child study has proven that. I am grateful that you recognize it. With proper medication and/or counseling it will improve. Please don't stop letting others know that ADD/ADHD is Real and it is not an excuse. My son is doing better now at home and in school. I was afraid and did not want any part of it, but I did face it and now see my son as the young man that he really is. ADD/ADHD is not his fault. I am very proud of him and he can test me at times but he is a good boy and he is mine. Just a thought I wanted to share.

Becky

We tell him that he is not alone
I have a son, his name is Christopher. He is 10 and has been diagnosed with ADHD since the age of 5. We have found through many years of research that not only does Chris suffer from ADHD, many other things have occurred. For example; he has allergies, extreme heartburn from an overactive esophagus and low self esteem. He gets upset when he can't remember things. We try to understand but as often humans do we do lose our patience sometimes and end up walking around the block several times. He has difficulty with other children but he is trying harder now that he is getting older. We tell him that he is not alone with the disorder that there are a large number of people diagnosed daily. I wish you well with this home page and the only advice I have found in the many years is just be an advocate for your child; fight for extra time in school on tests and reports and special attention to memory extenders (notes, post-its, bracelets, pins). His allergies have improved since I started him on vitamins and herbs and run him hard (play hard) it seems to exhaust him so he sleeps better.

Kelly

...one of the first things we noticed was the forgetfulness
My son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 7, he is now 10, and one of the first things we noticed three years ago along with the inability to concentrate and the "spaceyness" was the forgetfulness. We have post it notes and charts all over our house to help Andy remember things. And even day to day things have to be verbally reminded. Andy is like many ADHD children, he is very emotional and loves touch. Sometimes just a touch on the shoulder will bring him back on tract, no words are needed.

Bobbie

WOW what a difference
Dear Simon, Over the last few weeks I have spent a lot of time on your website gleaning all the information I could about ADD/ADHD. Even contacted Quest IV in the US to see whether their vitamin tablets would work on our William (the answer was NO they didn't work but anything was worth a try whilst waiting to see the consultant!). Also bought a couple of the book titles that had been reviewed and have found the one by the author of Toddler Taming absolutely invaluable (as well as easy to read, digest, sympathize and laugh about).

The long and short of it is, having got to see a consultant in London William started Ritalin last Saturday and WOW what a difference it has made to everyone's lives. His teachers are over the moon and are indeed very sad that they did not have William like this 3 years ago as he moves on from them at the end of this term to the Main School. We are also VERY lucky in having a GP who is sympathetic to the use of Ritalin. As for us at home it is just WONDERFUL to have a boy who is now getting all the "good" attention rather than the constant "bad attention" he was getting. Anyway, a big thank you for providing all of us out there with such invaluable information.

Kind regards and best wishes

Fiona

My wife and I are so happy it was like winning the pools.
Dear Grey, my son Andrew has been through a terrible time with problems at school and home. He was uninterested in his school work , wouldn't interact with other children, bullying you name it. My wife and I have had him assessed by education experts ,pediatricians etc to no avail. Recently a friend of mine came to stay with us and he advised that AJ was displaying all the traits of his son who is ADHD. We had tried everything else so we had him assessed. Miracle of miracles he was found to have 19/20 indicators and has been sent to a trial on Dextamphetamine, since taking it he has completely changed, he is attentive, no more bullying, looks forward to school and his peers are really taking care of him, my wife and I are so happy it was like winning the pools. just thought you might like to hear some good news from down under. By the way AJ was coliccy when he was a baby and would cry for 12hrs at a time. According to experts this is often an indicator for ADHD later.

All the best Steve & Noreen

I am so proud......
I am so proud, that I have to share this with you all. Last night my 8 year old son (ADHD/Tourettes) passed his fifth Karate grading in 18 months. Not bad for a child who just 4 years ago was written off by a psychiatrist who told me my son would leave school at 16 being unable to read or write, and end up living in a cardboard box in some shop doorway! If only that Doctor could have been there. So everyone who is struggling to get the medication right, and who is despairing of ever seeing the light at the end of the tunnel just hang in there you will get there eventually.

Sheelagh

Success on ritalin
I have a 15 year old daughter who was only diagnosed AD/HD 2 years ago. My life was a living hell. being a single parent I had no support from anyone. I couldn't face telling my parents how bad things were. she had no friends and was constantly aggressive. It got so bad that I hated coming home from work. I was summoned to the school regularly. Psychologists got involved and all they had to say was that it was my fault, I need to spend more time with her. I shouldn't worry if she didn't say please or thank you, or not put her knife and fork down "it will only aggravate the situation" . she could never sit still even when eating, and if she decided she didn't like what I had cooked, even though the day before it had been her favorite it was either thrown at when she threw a knife at me because I was making her go to school. I exploded, this may well sound horrendous, I dragged her by the hair threw her in the car and drove to school. School obviously saw the state she was in and at last social services were called in. She was referred to a pediatrician and as I went through the catalogue of horrors he immediately diagnosed AD/HD and prescribed Ritalin. Her behavior improved 100% within 2 days of her taking the medicine. She was always a very loving child, in-between attacks (as I called them), but now our life together is so wonderful and she is doing brilliantly at school and has lots of friends. I feel though that through the ignorance of the "specialists" she has missed a lot of her childhood and she will never get that back. I am so glad that AD/HD is becoming more recognized within schools and medical circles.

Heather

Thank you VERY VERY much
I don't remember if I wrote to you before to say thank you. I clicked on a banner that was on a game that I wanted to download. You have saved us all from insanity. After I checked your website on ADD I realized my son had ADD and he is not a bad kid and I am not a bad parent. My husband also read what you had to say on ADD and he agrees with me about our son. The only disappointment I had is WHY did the teachers catch this when he was younger. I looked back on his report cards and it constantly explained that he would not pay attention in class, he did not apply himself, did not hand in his homework etc. But that ok his teacher has been wonderful once I told her about ADD she did some research and she agreed with me. He is now taking Dexedrine and we are trying to get some anger management courses for him to take.

Thank you

Michelle

Success with Adderall
Want to tell you about my son Josiah. He has ADHD, this year we've tried something different, Pycnogenol. It didn't work for Josiah, so we went back to the Doctor and he suggested we try Adderall. This seems to be working. When the school year began, he was in one type of trouble or another. Two weeks after being on Adderall, the school commented on Josiah, and his new ability to stay on task 100% of the time. And we have had only one "sort-of" trouble, compared to many without. We have been enjoying the new Josiah, and we are glad that he is also eating too. (When he was on Ritalin he did NOT eat.) Just wanted you to know.

Steve

Rewards are important
For 7 and 1/2 years I argued with my pediatrician that my son was not "normal" like his older brother. Finally at the age of 8 years it was suggested he be tested to see if he was ADD. I knew he was but we had him tested and sure enough he was a classic example. He has been on Ritalin and it has helped him enormously. But, he does not take it religiously. We use if for school, but on weekends I give him his dosage based on his behavior. He can have up to 40 milligrams a day. We have 5, 10 and 20 dosages at home. When he starts to get out of control I tell him you have a choice. Either stop doing this or you won't be able to do something else. Or you decide what you are going to do, be quiet or go without tv. This works most of the time because he made the choice for himself. Rewards are important. When you have an ADD child you spend so much time trying to discipline them that you can overlook rewards when he does have a good day. This can be a trip to the movies, or rent a video game. My son is now almost 12 and in middle school (6th - 8th grade). When he was in elementary he had a terrible time. He had to serve detentions after school and was constantly being punished. In middle school you change classes. Six different classes, plus a locker you must go to at least once during the day to switch books. You also have a half hour lunch in a cafeteria with the entire 6th grade class. He has been in school since August 19th without any infractions this year. He also made the honor roll (B average over all). And is learning to play an instrument in the school band. He is the most lovable child I know and I wouldn't change him for anything. I know he will grow up to be a responsible and respected young man.

B. Simpson

COFFEE... works almost as good as Ritalin
I knew before my son Michael was even born that we had a restless one on our hands... after his birth he never slept and had night terrors. The first 5 years of his life the doctor said there was nothing wrong with him and that I was just a nervous mom, he prescribed tranquilizers for me ! Once Michael was 5 all of a sudden I wasn't a nervous mom, miraculously Michael had become ADHD ! Life on Ritalin was a dream! He was so bad that the doctor would not even give him the "break" that many children get from the drug during the summer vacation months. Many people have argued with me over the use of Ritalin, but I can say it did NOT stunt his growth (at age 13 he is 6'3") and he did not become addicted to the drug (he decided when he was ready to stop taking it and had no ill effects coming off the medication) However, we knew ADHD was not his only problem and it took until the age of 11 before anyone would diagnose Ausbergers Syndrome (autism). which is another story. I now have a 5 year old son who is showing all the signs of ADD and I feel confident now after going through it with Michael... that we can handle any obstacle ahead of us. I wish all the parents luck. PS: one thing I found that works when your child gets really hyper is to give him COFFEE either with no sugar or with artificial sweetener... works almost as good as Ritalin

Jeanne

Good news for children with a lactose intolerance who couldn't take Ritalin
Hi there! This is the latest update on my continuing saga of Laylee and Ritalin. I started giving her 1/2 Ritalin and one Lactogon tablet on a morning, and she was (is) a different child again. Lactogon is a capsule containing lactase which is the enzyme which digests lactose. All went well until she had to start taking a dose at lunchtime at school. The school policy here is that they can only give prescribed medication out. Lactase is not prescribable, as it is classed as a food!! ( To avoid tests regulations etc for drugs, I suppose.) Anyway I managed to get a prescription for it eventually and got a pharmacist to stock it. It just means that I have to buy it (£13.00 a month) instead of getting it free. The good news however is that Laylee is a transformed child!!!!!!! It is wonderful !!! The only thing is that she has started to question exactly why she is taking them. Just how much do you think it should be explained to a "wise" 6 3/4 year old, bearing in mind that she is already classed as being "different" by the other kids because of her diet.

Yours, happily,

Sue