If you drill holes in an expensive dining room table you may find that the wood beneath the thin surface covering is in fact a cheap manmade substitute. It is wrong therefore to assume that all furniture manufacturers are environmentally unfriendly.

If you drill holes in some car steering wheels the internal structure is not hard but surprisingly soft and powdery.

Dining room carpets burn better if you add a pile of toilet tissue.

Cropping small patches of your hair does not mean that a 5 minute crew cut at the barbers is cheaper than a 20 minute ordinary haircut.

Watch batteries, safety pins and paper clips are surprisingly easy to swallow.

It can take up to four days for a watch battery to pass through your intestines.

Shirt buttons travel at an amazing speed when separated from the garment with a sharp jerking action.

If you're a budgerigar, it is not a good idea to allow your tail feathers to poke through the cage wire as not all humans are slow cumbersome creatures.

With a little effort, removal of wallpaper and plaster to reveal brickwork can be achieved in a surprisingly short space of time.

TV remote control units can still function quite well even with their rubber buttons removed. Long fingernails are recommended.

Loud repeated farting and belching can sometimes help to ease a tense situation when you have friends round.

There are several further stages of embarrassment beyond the initial blushing period.

Do not use the words "please don't", in a sentence, if you'd rather something wasn't done.

Shop assistants have an amazing ability to open their mouths to an unbelievable size when looking horrified.

Telephone kiosks and public phone equipment is surprisingly robust.

When stabbing a three piece suite repeatedly with a sharp knife, it should be noted that the holes remain quite invisible to the naked eye.

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In spite of the media coverage on the original launch of Compact Discs, they do not play as well when smothered with jam, or anything else for that matter.

The size of a pile of stuffing extracted from a soft toy can be five or six times bigger than the original toy.

With patience and determination many stains originally thought to be unremovable can be quite convincingly camouflaged.

Some cushions contain nearly 1 million small bean like objects.

Provided they have locked the doors and started the engine, it is possible for a toddler to reach the peddles while holding the steering wheel. Shouting "don't touch the gear lever" while getting quite excited outside the vehicle is not recommended.

When unwound, audio tape can stretch for several meters and can be used as a passable equivalent if you're unlucky enough to have had your Christmas decorations mysteriously destroyed.

Video tapes do function just as well with the front flap section removed.

Opening tins of food at night and mixing the contents on the kitchen floor can become addictive.

Child locks on drawers and cupboards are as effective as using a tomato to balance a wobbly chair.

The ears are just right for carrying all manner of tiny objects. When you need the item in question, simply visit your local casualty or emergency department.

Simon Hensby - adders.org

Debbie Wells of Kernow Information and Support Service ( K.I.S.S), Cornwall, England, sent us the following......

Cocoa powder is an excellent replacement for all well known brands of washing powder.

Removing the swimming attendants towel whilst he is showering may give you an extra half hour in the pool.

If your mother has just had a new baby , breast pads make good replacement shin pads for football at school.

If you place enough footballs down the main drains you can in fact cut off the sewerage outlets for half the Town.

Never tell your add wife that you cannot remove a partition wall ( including fitted cupboard ) from under the stairs because it will take at least 3 men & maybe load bearing ,because you may well find it piled in the garden when you return from work!

Or that you cannot redecorate the lounge by xmas day when it's 4pm xmas eve ( it can be totally redone including stenciling! ).

Patio's don't make good crash mats when jumping from your bedroom windowsill, although it is a total myth that a person in full leg plaster cannot run as fast as any other being!

Chris.G of North Somerset, England, sent us the following......

Opening the car door on a motorway results in a near death experience.

Cats can live locked in a hen house for several days without ill effect, but smell funny for a long time afterwards.

Women with ADHD can move bedroom furniture around in the middle of the night, bed included. This may result in her husband waking in the early hours and knocking his head on a wall which wasn't there when he went to sleep.