How to Get Through It

A letter to a misunderstood kid

Dear Child, I am the mum of a child who has ADHD, just like you. I know that you often feel sad because you get into trouble lots and don't do well in the school classroom. But I want to tell you that sometimes it is good to be different from the rest of the children. Maybe you feel that life and school is much easier for other kids? Well, yes it can be a little easier for people who are average. But children like you, who tend to be EXTREMELY good at some things and not so good at other things, often find that life can be less of an easy ride. Let's take school for example.

My son, George

There are many children just like yourself in school, who can do the work, and who are even very, very good at some things, but who behave in a certain sort of way that is somehow different from the rest of the children. You feel you need to move about lots, so you end up wondering around the classroom for no apparent reason. Maybe you find it really hard to concentrate on what you are supposed to be doing. Perhaps you even get so frustrated that you shout at people or even lash out when you lose your temper.

Because of this behavior, teachers and other adults find these things difficult to deal with and they may even do and say things to you, which you feel is unfair. They cannot understand that sometimes certain children act on the spur of the moment and they often find your behaviors hard to deal with. Because they are grown ups, they sometimes don't see children as individuals, they see them as a mass and it's wrong. Because of this you are often left feeling sad, or cross, or frustrated at those adults.

Not all teachers are like this though. As you go through school you will find one or two who will like you for who you are, and accept the things you do without judging you. If you can find a teacher like this, make him or her your friend. Go to them when you are having problems.

What about home? Do you sometimes feel that your parents love your brothers or sisters more than you? You know, it may feel like this from time to time, but believe me your parents love you just as much as the other children in your family. Perhaps you feel that because you get into trouble more, that your parents prefer your brothers or sisters? Well, when your parents tell you off it is not YOU they are unhappy with, it is just the behavior that has got you into trouble that they are unhappy with. It can be very difficult when you are young to understand this. But I know! I am a mum to 2 children - 1 boy with ADHD and one younger daughter without ADHD. I love them BOTH in different ways, and I would hazard a guess that your parents are exactly the same.

All I can say to you is this: some of the greatest names in history were said to have symptoms like the ones you have. Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Richard Branson, Tom Cruise, Robbie Williams, Thomas Edison, Robin Williams, Stephen Hawking...the list is much, much longer than this. All these people have made the world a better place for others BECAUSE of the way they are, not despite the way they are.

Love, Gail

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