The Management of
Adult Attention Deficit Disorder
by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J.
Ratey, M.D.
The treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) begins with hope.
Most people who discover they have ADD, whether they be children or adults,
have suffered a great deal of pain. The emotional experience of ADD is filled
with embarrassment, humiliation, and self castigation. By the time the
diagnosis is made, many people with ADD have lost confidence in themselves.
Many have been misunderstood repeatedly. Many have consulted with numerous
specialists, only to find no real help. As a result, many have lost hope.
The most important step at the beginning of treatment is to instill hope
once again. Individuals with ADD may have forgotten what is good about
themselves. They may have lost, long ago, any sense of the possibility of
things working out. They are often locked in a kind of tenacious holding
pattern, bringing all theory, considerable resiliency, and ingenuity just to
keeping their heads above water. It is a tragic loss, the giving up on life too
soon. But many people with ADD have seen no other way than repeated failures.
To hope, for them, is only to risk getting knocked down once more.
And yet, their capacity to hope and to dream is immense. More than most
people, individuals with ADD have visionary imaginations. They think big
thoughts and dream big dreams. They can take the smallest opportunity and
imagine turning it into a major break. They can take a chance encounter and
turn it into a grand evening out. They thrive on dreams, and they need
organizing methods to make sense of things and keep them on track.
But like most dreamers, they go limp when the dream collapses. Usually, by
the time the diagnosis of ADD has been made, this collapse has happened often
enough to leave them wary of hoping again. The little child would rather stay
silent than risk being taunted once again. The adult would rather keep his
mouth shut than risk flubbing things up once more. The treatment, then, must
begin with hope. We break down the treatment of ADD into five basis areas:
- Diagnosis
- Education
- Structure, support, and coaching
- Various forms of psychotherapy
- Medication
In this article we will outline some general principles that apply both to
children and adults concerning the non-medication aspects of the treatment of
ADD. One way to organize the non-medication treatment of ADD is through
practical suggestions.
50 TIPS
INSIGHT AND EDUCATION:
- Be sure of the diagnosis. Make sure you're working with a
professional who really understands ADD and has excluded related or similar
conditions such as anxiety states, agitated depression, hyperthyroidism, manic
depressive illness, or obsessive compulsive disorder.
- Educate yourself. Perhaps the single most powerful treatment for ADD
is understanding ADD in the first place. Read books. Talk with professionals.
Talk with other adults who have ADD. You'll be able to design your own
treatment to your own version of ADD.
- Coaching. It is useful for you to have a coach, for some person near
to you to keep after you in a supportive way. Your coach can help you get
organized, stay on task, give you encouragement, or remind you to get back to
work. Friend, colleague, or therapist (it is possible, but risky for your coach
to be your spouse), a coach is someone to stay on you to get things done,
exhort you as coaches do, keep tabs on you, and in general be in your corner,
on your side. A coach can be tremendously helpful in treating ADD.
- Encouragement. ADD adults need lots of encouragement. This is in
part due to their having many self-doubts that have accumulated over the years.
But it goes beyond that. More than the average person, the ADD adult withers
without encouragement and positively thrives when given it. The ADD adult will
often work for another person in a way he won't work for himself. This is not
"bad," it just is. It should be recognized and taken advantage of.
- Realize what ADD is NOT, i.e., conflict with mother, etc.
- Educate and involve others. Just as it is key for you to understand
ADD, it is equally, if not more important, for those around you to understand
it--family, friends, people at work or at school. Once they get the concept
they will be able to understand you much better and to help you out as well. It
is particularly helpful if your boss can be aware of the kinds of structures
that help people with ADD.
- Give up guilt over high-stimulus seeking behavior. Understand that
you are drawn to high stimuli. Try to choose them wisely, rather than brooding
over the "bad" ones.
- Listen to feedback from trusted others. Adults (and children, too)
with ADD are notoriously poor self observers. They use a lot of what can appear
to be denial.
- Consider joining or starting a support group. Much of the most
useful information about ADD has not yet found its way into books but remains
stored in the minds of the people who have ADD. In groups this information can
come out. Plus, groups are really helpful in giving the kind of support that is
so badly needed.
- Try to get rid of the negativity that may have infested your system
if you have lived for years without knowing what you had was ADD. A good
psychotherapist may help in this regard. Learn to break the tapes of negativity
that can play relentlessly in the ADD mind.
- Don't feel chained to conventional careers or conventional ways of
coping. Give yourself permission to be yourself. Give up trying to be the
person you always thought you should be -- the model student or the organized
executive, for example--and let yourself be who you are.
- Remember that what you have is a neurological condition. It is
genetically transmitted. It is caused by biology, by how your brain is wired.
It is NOT a disease of the will, nor a moral failing. It is NOT caused by a
weakness in character, nor by a failure to mature. It's cure is not to be found
in the power of the will, nor in punishment, nor in sacrifice, nor in pain.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS. Try as they might, many people with ADD have great
trouble accepting the syndrome as being rooted in biology rather than weakness
of character.
- Try to help others with ADD. You'll learn a lot about the condition
in the process, as well as feel good to boot.
Performance
Management
- External structure. Structure is the hallmark of the
non-pharmacological treatment of the ADD child. It can be like the walls of the
bobsled slide, keeping the speedball sled from careening off the track. Make
frequent use of:
1) notes to self - 2) color coding - 3) rituals - 4) lists - 5) reminders - 6)
files
- Color coding. Mentioned above, color coding deserves emphasis. Many
people with ADD are visually oriented. Take advantage of this by making things
memorable with color: files, memoranda, texts, schedules, etc. Virtually
anything in the black and white of type can be made more memorable, arresting,
and therefore attention-getting with color.
- Use pizzazz. In keeping with #15, try to make your environment as
peppy as you want it to be without letting it boil over.
- Set up your environment to reward rather than deflate. To understand
what a deflating environment is, all most adult ADDers need do is think back to
school. Now that you have the freedom of adulthood, try to set things up so
that you will not constantly be reminded of your limitations.
- Acknowledge and anticipate the inevitable collapse of x% of projects
undertaken, relationships entered into obligations incurred.
- Embrace challenges. ADD people thrive with many challenges. As long
as you know they won't all pan out, as long as you don't get too
perfectionistic and fussy, you'll get a lot done and stay out of trouble.
- Make deadlines. Think of deadlines as motivational devices rather
than echoes of doom. If it helps, call them lifelines, instead of deadlines. In
any case, make them and stick to them.
- Break down large tasks into small ones. Attach deadlines to the
small parts. Then, like magic, the large task will get done. This is one of the
simplest and most powerful of all structuring devices. Often a large task will
feel overwhelming to the person with ADD. The mere thought of trying to perform
the task makes one turn away. On the other hand, if the large task is broken
down into small parts, each component may feel quite manageable.
- Prioritize. Avoid procrastination. When things get busy, the adult
ADD person loses perspective: paying an unpaid parking ticket can feel as
pressing as putting out the fire that just got started in the wastebasket.
Prioritize. Take a deep breath. Put first things first. Procrastination is one
of the hallmarks of adult ADD. You have to really discipline yourself to watch
out for it and avoid it.
- Accept fear of things going too well, accept edginess when things
are too easy, when there's no conflict. Don't gum things up, just to make them
more stimulating.
- Notice how and where you work best: in a noisy room, on the train,
wrapped in three blankets, listening to music, whatever. Children and adults
with ADD can do their best under rather odd conditions. Let yourself work under
whatever conditions are best for you.
- Know that it is O.K. to do two things at once: carry on a
conversation and knit, or take a shower and do your best thinking, or jog and
plan a business meeting. Often people with ADD need to be doing several things
at once in order to get anything done at all.
- Do what you're good at. Again, if it seems easy, that is O.K. There
is no rule that says you can only do what you're bad at. Do what you're good
at. Again, if it seems easy, that is O.K. There is no rule that says you can
only do what you're bad at.
- Leave time between engagements to gather your thoughts. Transitions
are difficult for ADDers, and mini-breaks can help ease the transition.
- Keep a notepad in your car, by your bed, and in your pocketbook or
jacket. You never know when a good idea will hit you, or you'll want to
remember something else.
- Read with a pen in hand, not only for marginal notes or underlining,
but for the inevitable cascade of "other" thoughts that will occur to
you.
Mood Management:
- Have structured "blow-out" time. Set aside some time in
every week for just letting go. Whatever you like to do -- blasting yourself
with loud music, taking a trip to the race track, having a feast -- pick some
kind of activity from time to time where you can let loose in a safe way.
- Recharge your batteries. Related to #30 most adults with ADD need
feeling guilty about it. One guilt-free way to conceptualize it is to call it
time to recharge your batteries. Take a nap, watch TV, meditate. Some-thing
calm, restful, at ease.
- Choose "good," helpful addictions such as exercise. Many
adults with ADD have an addictive or compulsive personality such that they are
always hooked on something. Try to make this something positive.
- Understand mood changes and ways to manage these. Know that your
moods will change willy-nilly, independent of what's going on in the external
world. Don't waste your time ferreting out the reason why or looking for
someone to blame. Focus rather on learning to tolerate a bad mood, knowing that
it will pass, and learning strategies to make it pass sooner. Changing sets,
i.e. getting involved with some new activity (preferably interactive) such as a
conversation with a friend or a tennis game or reading a book will often help.
- Related to #33, recognize the following cycle which is very common among
adults with ADD: Something "startles" your psychological system, a
change or transition, a disappointment or even a success. The precipitant may
be quite trivia. b. This "startle" is followed by a mini-panic with a
sudden loss of perspective, the world being set topsy-turvy. c. You try to deal
with this panic by falling into a mode of obsessing and ruminating over one or
another aspect of the situation. This can last for hours, days, even months.
- Plan scenarios to deal with the inevitable blahs. Have a list of
friends to call. Have a few videos that always engross you and get your mind
off things. Have ready access to exercise. Have a punching bag or pillow handy
if there's extra angry energy. Rehearse a few pep talks you can give yourself,
like, You've been here before. These are the ADD blues. They will
soon pass. You are OK."
- Expect depression after success. People with ADD commonly complain
of feeling depressed, paradoxically, after a big success. This is because the
high stimulus of the chase or the challenge or the preparation is over. The
deed is done. Win or lose, the adult with ADD misses the conflict, the high
stimulus, and feels depressed.
- Learn symbols, slogans, sayings as shorthand ways of labeling and
quickly putting into perspective slip ups, mistakes, or mood swings. When you
turn left instead of right and take your family on a 20-minute detour, it is
better to be able to say, "There goes my ADD again," than to have a
6-hour fight over your unconscious desire to sabotage the whole trip. These are
not excuses. You still have to take responsibility for your actions. It is just
good to know where your actions are coming from and where they're not.
- Use "time-outs" as with children. When you are upset or
over stimulated, take a time-out. Go away. Calm down.
- Learn how to advocate for yourself. Adults with ADD are so used to
being criticized, they are often unnecessarily defensive in putting their own
case forward. Learn to get off the defensive.
- Avoid premature closure of a project, a conflict, a deal, or a
conversation. Don't "cut to the chase'' too soon, even though you're
itching to.
- Try to let the successful moment last and be remembered, become
sustaining over time. You'll have to consciously and deliberately train
yourself to do this because you'll just as soon forget.
- Remember that ADD usually includes a tendency to over focus or hyper
focus at times. This hyper focusing can be used constructively or
destructively. Be aware of its destructive use: a tendency to obsess or
ruminate over some imagined problem without being able to let it go.
- Exercise vigorously and regularly. You should schedule this into
Your life and stick with it. Exercise is positively one of the best treatments
for ADD. It helps work off excess energy and aggression in a positive way, it
allows for noise-reduction within the mind, it stimulates the hormonal and
neurochemical system in a most therapeutic way, and it soothes and calms the
body. When you add all that to the well-known health bene- fits of exercise,
you can see how important exercise is. Make it something fun so you can stick
with it over the long haul, i.e. the rest of you life.
Interpersonal Life
- Make a good choice in a significant other. Obviously this is good
advice for anyone. But it is striking how the adult with ADD can thrive or
flounder depending on the choice of mate.
- Learn to joke with yourself and others about your various symptoms,
from forgetfulness, to getting lost all the time, to being tactless or
impulsive, whatever. If you can be relaxed about it all to have a sense of
humor, others will forgive you much more.
- Schedule activities with friends. Adhere to these schedules
faithfully. It is crucial for you to keep connected to other people.
- Find and join groups where you are liked, appreciated, understood,
enjoyed. People with ADD take great strength from group support.
- Reverse of #47. Don't stay too long where you aren't understood or
appreciated. Just as people with ADD gain a great deal from supportive
groups, they are particularly drained and by negative groups.
- Pay compliments. Notice other people. In general, get social
training, as from your coach.
- Set social deadlines. Without deadlines and dates your social life
can atrophy. Just as you will be helped by structuring your business week, so
too you will benefit from keeping your social calendar organized. This will
help you stay in touch with friends and get the kind of social support you
need.
This educational material is made available, courtesy of the author and a
non-profit organization based in Tacoma, WA. whose purpose is to educate
adults, and the professionals who treat them, about Attention Deficit Disorder.
We have numerous materials as well as a quarterly newsletter for sale. Our
address is: ASW, PO Box 7804, Tacoma, WA. 98407-0804. Msg. Tel. 253-759-5085,
email: addult@addult.org and web site: www.ADDult.org."
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