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Through My EyesA Survivor Looks at the Word of God Bathsheba:
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The king shut the chamber doors and began to speak to her of her un-matchable beauty. He began to caress her face, and then bringing her in closer, he began to kiss her. Before she could even catch her breath or say anything, he began to take off her clothing and make love to her. She wanted him to stop, but he was the king, and if she refused him, he could have her killed. She wanted to cry, but fear crept into her heart of what he might do. Anger began to build up, and confusion kept her stunned. He was a good, honest man, how could he do this? Why?
She wanted him to stop. She prayed to God for the end. However, she was still there, and he was still doing this unspeakable thing. Then, to her uttermost horror, her body began to respond to the kings touch. It had been so long since she had felt her husbands body close to hers, felt his lips on her own, felt his passion for her. Now, her body was responding receiving pleasure from another mans touch.
When it was over and she was all alone, with only the sound of her own tormenting memories and thoughts, she bathed again. Tears streamed out of her dark brown eyes, that now had no sparkle of life, but instead, agony and bitterness. How could this have happened? What had she done to deserve this? Was God punishing her for something? She was disgraced, for now she was an adulteress. How could the king, a man chosen by God, do such a thing? Why had she not just taken her chances with death, and run away when she had the chance? Why was her husband always gone? If he had only been home, this might not have happened. Now, she had sinned against God and against Uriah.
Weeks passed. Her grief was unbearable at times. She felt so dirty that no amount of bathing could make her feel clean. Shed never feel clean again. Then, adding to her pain and torment, she discovered that she was carrying the kings child. Everyone would know that she was an adulterous. Her friends, family, and Uriah himself, would all know of her sin, that she had been with another man. She couldnt tell them that it was the king, for they would not believe her, and he could have her killed. She had nowhere to turn to. In her desperation, she felt she had no choice but to turn to the king.
The king was horrified. In his mind, he had almost forgotten that night, and now, he was wishing that it really hadnt happened. He began to justify himself, thinking that she shouldnt have been bathing out in the open like that. She was being seductive. It wasnt his fault that she was so beautiful and enticing. There was no man on earth who could resist the beauty that this woman possessed. Maybe she even did it deliberately, to try to get him to sleep with her. However, he knew this to be false. As his mind raced through this un-bargained for incident, he paced wildly. Then, he called for his messenger.
He told his messenger to bring Uriah home on leave. His plan was to get Uriah to sleep with his wife while he was there, and then he would believe that the child was his own. He would never know, and King Davids reputation would not be ruined.
Uriah arrived at the palace sometime later. He had not wanted to leave the battle front, for that, he felt, was his duty and was where he belonged. Also, he did not go home to sleep, for he felt that also would be wrong. So, he slept on a mat with the kings servants.
When the king heard of this, he called Uriah and inquired about his actions. Uriah replied in good faith that while the ark of the Lord and the kings men were in tents, he could not think of his own comfort and eat and drink and lie with his wife at home.
So that night the king invited Uriah to a dinner. He gave him enough wine to make him drunk, believing that he would then go home to sleep with his wife. However, Uriah remained steadfast, his loyalty even in drunkenness was unshaken. He slept with the servants on a mat again as he had said he would.
The king was stricken by this mans actions. Uriah was the most loyal man that he had ever seen. He was being more noble, and cared more for the kingdom than the king. Anger, mixed with fear, burned within Davids heart. So out of desperation he wrote a letter to Joab, the commander of the army. His command was for Joab to put Uriah in the thickest part of battle and then pull back with his other men, leaving Uriah alone to be killed in battle. He then sent Uriah back to battle with the sealed letter to Joab. Uriah carried with him the dagger that would pierce his own heart.
Uriah had been suspicious of the Kings actions, for the king had tried so hard to let him sleep with his wife. Why should that have been of so much concern to the king? However, he quickly wiped the suspicion out of his mind. He should not allow himself to think such thoughts about his king. He just did not understand why he was sent home. So he put his suspicions behind him and remained loyal to his king. He faithfully brought the sealed letter to Joab.
Joab did as commanded, and Uriah died faithfully serving the king who had him killed. His death was in honor, for he died for the sake of his king and country and did not stray from his loyalties. When Bathsheba got word of her husbands death, she grieved deeply. He was the only man she had ever loved. Why did God have to take him away from her? She felt that her life was falling apart. She was losing everything she held dear. What was she to do now?
After a brief time of mourning, the king took her to be his wife. This way, she at least had a home and a husband, and soon would have a child of her own. However, she wondered, could she bear to look at this child, born out of adultery? She feared that every look at the baby would bring back the memories of its conception and the sorrow that followed. She thought that these memories would eventually cause her to hate the child, even though the child was innocent. She most certainly hated herself. It just didnt seem fair, she thought, that things had to happen this way.
As the birth of the child drew near, the prophet of God in the land, Nathan, approached the king. He told the king of a rich man, who had many sheep and cattle, and a poor man, who only had one beloved lamb. One day, when a guest came for dinner, the rich man, without pity, took and slaughtered the other mans lamb instead of taking one from his own herd. Nathan asked him what should be done for such a horrendous act as this. David, having been a shepherd, and with a shepherds heart, was outraged. He said that the rich man deserved to die for his deed and that the man must pay four times over the cost of the lamb, for he had not even felt pity on the poor man.
Then the prophet looked to David and revealed to him that he was that man. David turned his head, for he knew it to be true. He knew that it was not a secret, for God knew, and now also the prophet. He had tried to forget it, and he had even begun to blame Bathsheba. He told himself Uriah may have died anyway. Every time he looked at Bathsheba, the memories would return. He almost despised her at times. But his shame and guilt could not be washed away forever. Now, he realized that he was the one to blame. He was the one that took the second look at Bathsheba. He was the one who had her brought to him. He was the one that used his power and authority to make love to a married woman. He was the one that killed an innocent man, and now he was the one who would have to live with his guilt.
The prophet told him that his child that Bathsheba carried would die for his sin and that his own family would turn against each other. David pleaded and begged that it not be so, but God had spoken. He hoped God would see his repentant heart and change his mind. However, God did not change his mind. When his son was seven days old, he died. David knew that the consequences could not be changed. He was to pay dearly for his sin.
Bathsheba knew that the child died in punishment for her evil sin. She had so many tears. She had committed adultery. Her husband had died, and with him, any hopes of bearing him a son. Now, even the child conceived in sin, died. She sometimes wished that she could die as well with her husband and child, for she was cursed, not able to bear anyone children. Her cup was bitter, indeed, she thought.
Once in awhile, as she reflected on the past, she would even have suspicions that the king himself had something to do with her husbands death. Then again, maybe God just took him from her because of her wickedness. She deserved no happiness, for she was so wicked.
In the kings grief over losing his child, he went to Bathsheba. He told her of the visit from Nathan, the prophet, and all that had been said. Then, he asked for her forgiveness for taking her life away from her. Bathsheba was startled at the news and wasnt sure what to do. She had to process all that had been said, it was just too much. That night, the king slept with her, and she once again conceived.
In due time, she was able to realize that the adultery hadnt been her fault. She had been raped by the king, and in Gods eyes, he was the one responsible for what had gone on. The king was in the position of power and she now saw with a clear mind that he had used his power and position to have his way with her. She realized that she did not have to bear the burden of guilt and shame, though it would still be awhile before the pain would cease.
The king no longer looked at her with contempt in his eyes, but with respect and admiration, kindness, and perhaps, love. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope in still living, and maybe happiness was not as far away as had previously been thought. She realized that God was not punishing her, but was in fact helping her to deal with life as it came along, and was, Himself, her best source for happiness.
Soon, Bathsheba became complete. God looked favorably on her, and she bore David a son. God had blessed her and David, with Solomon, who would become the next king. Little did she know that he would be one of the greatest kings that ever lived, that she would live to see him reign and be at his side. She would forever be known as the wife of King David, that bore him the son that God chose to carry the seed that would one day produce his very own son, the Messiah, Jesus Christ.
What could have been a shattered, torn life, of a woman scorned and disgraced, became a life that God used to accomplish his biggest, greatest taskthe birth of his son for the salvation of the world.
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