Families of Schizophrenics
Face Heartache and Pain

(Dec. 1, 2003) - There were no clues, when James "J" Lynn was growing up, that he would have such a tough adulthood with schizophrenia, said his mother, K McMinn.

"He was a delightful kid, very popular, witty and smart," she said. "No one had a better son."

But since his college years, J’s life has deteriorated because of a mental illness called schizophrenia. Unlike many with mental illness, he does not respond well to medication.

McMinn and her family have suffered, too. They know the pain of seeing him evicted from 17 nursing homes — several more than once.

They suffered through his attempted suicide by jumping 65 feet off a freeway overpass in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, 1985. J survived with a spinal cord injury, crushed wrists requiring three surgeries, and the amputation of both legs at the age of 30.

"He was considering jumping around 5 p.m., and the people in the California rush hour were yelling at him to jump," McMinn said, with her voice cracking.

Schizophrenia is caused by a chemical problem in the brain, and often manifests itself during a life crisis in late adolescence or young adulthood. The first time, J was gone a year, and the McMinn’s suffered the distress of not knowing where he was.

"When he returned, J had a totally flat personality. There were no hugs," McMinn said. "He was a stranger in an imitated body, but he never came back."

With schizophrenia, he also could not complete everyday tasks, like getting dressed. Sometimes he’d jump from one conversation subject to another without making sense, or would clam up and not talk at all. J has also been verbally abusive to his mother and thrown things at her.

"He is totally out of control. There is no way I can take care of him," said McMinn, 74.

J has been in and out of Austin and Terrell State Hospitals (in Texas), getting crisis help. Ironically, the mental hospital at Terrell was built by Dr. David Richard Wallace, J’s great-great grandfather.

"I am ashamed there is no place for the mentally ill," she said. "They are on the streets or in jail, if they cannot care for themselves. There is nothing for them."

Because J was a bright boy, he has learned to be a master manipulator, McMinn said. "He doesn’t think he needs his medications, so he cheeks it, because he likes the high of insanity."

J has repeatedly escaped supervised care in his wheelchair, sometimes hitchhiking with truckers who bought him meals and took him to Dallas.

Helplessly watching all this happen to her son is heartbreaking. "When my son got sick, I cried and would not talk about it, even with friends," McMinn said.

After years of buried emotional pain that was destroying McMinn’s physical health, a counselor at Austin State Hospital suggested nine years ago that she go to Al-Anon.

For two months she just listened, then she started to share, she said. Some at Al-Anon had a child on alcohol or drugs totally out of control which they try to help but cannot.

"They were non-judgmental and supportive," McMinn said. "Talking has helped tremendously."

Healthy people in a family often suffer even more than the ill one, said Marie, an Al-Anon member who asked that her last name be withheld.

"K was not able to talk before because her situation was so painful," she said. "We gave support and total acceptance, no matter what she was going through."

McMinn regained her health and became able to talk about her experiences, making her pain more manageable. Her husband got to see her improvement before he died in 1997.

J’s problems and McMinn’s caring continue. She still cringes when she sees the message light flashing on her telephone answering machine, but she has friends to call for support.

"I try to take care of J, but I don’t know what will happen to him," said McMinn, 74. "It is one of the hardest things for aging parents."

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