Sex and Intimacy

When anger or another problem enters the picture, the differences between men and women and physical intimacy become even more evident.

He feels that making love will make-up.

She feels they must make-up before making love. When the relationship is in disrepair, a woman will feel it has to be repaired before sex, not repaired by sex. And a man will feel exactly opposite.

Men have sexual thoughts often during the day. Women can go for hours, even days, without a sexual thought.

For women touching without sex is soothing and comforting. It imparts a warm feeling of security. For many men, touching without sex can easily be misunderstood and even threatening.

Watch men together. When men touch, it is in a rough manner--punching each other or slapping each other on the back. This is because tender touching has sexual undertones for a man. It makes many men feel vulnerable and dependent, feelings men have been socialized to feel are unmasculine. Young women dream about love and romance; young men dream about sexual fulfillment.

Men are not comfortable with so much closeness and intimacy that they feel vulnerable. Women are not comfortable without it.

Women view sex as coming from a close, intimate relationship. Women want to be in love before having sex. Men think sex is an expression of love.

For women, the relationship eventually includes sex. For men, the relationship doesn't really start until it includes sex.

For most women, sexual involvement implies that a relationship is possible. For men, such an implication is certainly not automatic.

Women rarely comprehend a man's ability to separate sex and love. If "her" man has sex with another woman, he can not still love her.

Always remember:

1. Not all men are alike. In addition, some men are more evolved than other men.
2. Not all women are alike. In addition, some women are more evolved than other men.
3. Gender identity is the sense we have of belonging either to the male half of the human race or the female half of the race.
4. Gender conceit is when either sex assumes that what is natural and preferred for her/his sex is correct for both sexes.

Last updated: 8/05

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