Cut it Out!
However much it hurts
However much it takes
Believe and all your dreams will all come true
However hard it gets
However much it aches
Always believe in me
As I believe in you
Dredd Song - The Cure
Stopping the cutting is easier said than done. I have read
a lot of different suggestions. Basically what it boils down to is that you
have to want to stop hurting yourself. Of course cutting releases pain
and tension. Of course it makes you feel better immediately, but in the long
run, it makes you feels worse. When you cut, you generally end up feeling
ashamed that you hurt yourself and embarrassed by the scratches and scars.
There are other ways to cope with your pain that won't make you feel bad about
yourself. Here are some of my suggestions:
- Do something creative! Everyone enjoys doing something
creative, whether you're good at it or not! I have a friend that paints, one
that journals, and still another that writes poetry. I have several friends
that write and compose music to release their frustrations. Personally, I like
to create/modify websites to get my mind off the things that are bothering me.
Sometimes I'll take photographs, work on graphics, or just surf the web for
ideas.
- Entertain your mind! You can do a lot of things to occupy
your mind besides expelling creative energy. You don't have to dwell on your
problems. You can watch TV, rent a movie, or read a book. I would suggest
something comical, not dramatic! I would also suggest going to a theater
to see a movie because it helps to get out of the house. Also, if you go to a
theatre you can't turn the movie off halfway through and you'll be less likely
to leave since you've paid money to get in
- Talk! This is probably the most obvious suggestion in the
book! You can and should talk to others about your problem! You'd
be surprised at how understanding people can be. I would suggest turning to a
close friend or SO first, but parents can be a good thing to fall back on. If
you are not sure how to broach the issue, here are some suggestions.
- Practice Violence! Did I really say to do something violent?
Yes, but not something that will hurt you or someone else. You can rip up or
punch a pillow, scream your lungs off, jump up and down, or practice a
combination of things. Exercise is also a good idea, since it can be good for
you.
Ideas that a friend of mine suggests:
- Journal! Keep a
self-injury journal of the bad times. Sometimes, writing
can help sway your feelings and the desire to self-injure will subside.
Afterwards, you can analyze your feelings and possibly avoid what triggered the
desire to self-injure in you in the first place.
- Music! Listen to music. Make mood tapes. Tori Amos seems to
be a favorite. Little bits of her music and snippets of quotes twist themselves
around the edge of my friend's journal. She has a lot of tapes she has made for
herself that help her when she is in the mood to self injure. She has sent
quite a few of these tapes to me. They give her something to identify with, so
she knows she is not alone.
- Collages! Another interesting thing that she does when she
feels down is make collages. She has several that are very interesting,
although most are painful to see. It hurts to know someone is in such pain,
especially when you know what they are going through and still don't know how
to help them. We talk about her collages, why she chooses the images she does,
and I try to reinforce that she is just as intelligent, beautiful, and
important as the people in her collages.
For more suggestions on ways to immediately avoid self injuring, check out
my page on understanding. This
page offers ways to cope with self-injury based on the feelings that motivate
you to self-injure.
Another thing to do, after you have calmed the urge to Self-Injure, is to go
back through your day and try to determine what pushed you to want to SI. If
you can recognize what is causing the problem, you can attempt to come to terms
with it or handle it differently.
Working Toward
the Long Term!
Here, you will find methods and suggestions to stop self-injuring
permanently, as well as more spur-of-the-moment suggestions. Be prepared to
make a commitment to yourself and
stop the
self-injuring.
Heal
I can't stress enough how important communication is in the healing process.
If you want to get better, you have to come to terms with your problems, and
the best way to do that is by getting support and another perspective by
telling someone close to you about your problem. Go here, for suggestions on
how to broach the issue of discussing your self-injury with
others.
Emergency!
If someone you care for needs to go to the hospital and
wants you to go with them, there are a number of things you can do to ensure
they get proper treatment. Sometimes the person that has injured themselves
will feel meek or vulnerable. In this situation, you must stand up for them and
be their "advocate."
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