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Chapter 54 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works by
Adam Khan:
IT'S NICE TO BE LIKED, but it is even more satisfying to be respected. And
although it takes some effort, you can attain that desire. Here are three
places your effort will increase the respect you get from people:
Increase your competence. People respect ability and
skill, as long as you are noticeably good. This means trying to be a
jack-of-all-trades doesn’t work. Concentrate your efforts. Choose a useful
ability and hone yourself into the Mozart of that ability. If the skill is used
at your job, your increasing competence may bring you a new pay level too. Work
on improving your ability whenever you can. Become a master.
Use good manners. Without using please and thank you and would you
mind, without saying hi to people and learning their names and interests, you
will not earn people’s respect. Even if you’re competent, you will be
resented rather than admired.
Speak up rather than smolder. Do it with good manners, but speak. It
takes courage to speak up, and people know that and respect it. But when you
speak up, make requests rather than simply complaining. Don’t say what you
don’t like about what’s already been done; say what you’d like
to see in the future. And think it through beforehand so you say it well.
DON'T WORRY about whether or not people like you. Concentrate on competence
and good manners and saying what you need to say, and you’ll get more than
liking. You’ll get even more than respect from others. You’ll earn
the reward that might matter more than any other: You’ll respect yourself.
Increase your competence, use good manners, and
speak up rather than smolder.
Discipline is important when you are a leader of people, a manager or a
parent. Learn more about the fine art of being
An Island of Order in a Sea of
Chaos
Does it bother you that some people where you work complain all the time? Do
you wonder what you can do about it? Check this out:
Complaint Compunctions
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