Chapter 31 of the book Self-Help
Stuff That Works by Adam Khan:
How to Like Yourself More
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IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIKE yourself much when you’re doing
something you think is wrong. It doesn’t matter how much
rationalization you do, or how thickly you try to cover it with
justification, if you think it’s wrong or bad, and you keep doing
it, you cannot like yourself. So the way to like yourself more is to
clean up your integrity. You may not like to hear that, and I
don’t blame you. It sounds like a horrible burden. But it’s not.
It lightens your load and makes it more fun to be alive. Here are
three steps to a self you like and respect.
- Make a list of what you’re doing that you think is wrong
and stop doing those things. You might keep backsliding for
awhile, but if you keep at it, you’ll make it. Also make a
list of things you should be doing and aren’t. Never mind what
others think you should or shouldn’t do or what you’ve been
told is right or wrong. Just pay attention to what you feel is
right or wrong. And make sure you write it out. This, by itself,
will give you some relief, because we are never as bad as we
think we are. When you write it out, you’ll see that. The list
will be finite. Work on one thing at a time. Then cross it off
your list.
- Make amends for anything you’ve done in the past that you
feel guilty about. Some situations only need an apology, or
just an admission that you did it. Other situations will require
you to take some action to make up for the damage you did.
Before you get started on this, you should know that it’s
never as bad as you think it will be. It’s easier to make
amends than it first may seem. Be creative. Make it fun. You may
come up with a wild idea, but if it seems right to you, try it.
- Forgive yourself for all the “bad” things you’ve done.
This should be fairly easy since you’ve already taken
responsibility for your past and present action. But to finish
the job, you need to forgive yourself. To forgive yourself
simply means to give up resentment against yourself, or give up
the desire to punish yourself. Since you have taken and are
taking responsibility for your actions, to continue to punish
yourself or resent yourself is just silly. You are human. Humans
make mistakes. You’ve recognized that and corrected your
mistakes. That’s something to feel good about. So forgive
yourself. A decision is all that’s required. Simply decide to
stop resenting yourself and give up any intentions of punishing
yourself
TAKE THESE THREE steps to a self you really like. You’ll gain
strength and confidence and the peace that comes from knowing you do
what’s right.
Fortify your integrity.
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What the world
needs now is integrity, sweet integrity. Luckily, there are
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Why do people in general (and you in particular) not feel
happier than our grandparents felt when they had far fewer
possessions and conveniences than we now have?
We've Been Duped
What is the most powerful self-help technique on the
planet?
What single thing can you do that will improve your attitude,
improve the way you deal with others, and also improve your
health? Find out here.
Where to Tap
Would you like to be emotionally strong? Would you like to
have that special pride in yourself because you didn't whimper
or whine or collapse when things got rough? There is a way,
and it's not as difficult as you'd think.
Think Strong
In some cases, a feeling of certainty can help. But there
are many more circumstances where it is better to feel
uncertain. Strange but true.
Blind Spots
When some people get smacked around by life, they give in
and let life run them over. But some people have a fighting
spirit. What's the difference between these two and why does
it make a difference? Find out here.
Fighting Spirit |
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