Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

THE EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT
PREVENTIVE MEASURES

Chapter 8

page 2

The problem is that the narcissist uses these two masks indiscriminately. There are situations in his life when one of them proves to be dysfunctional, even detrimental to his well-being.

Example: the narcissist dates a girl. At first, he makes use of the False Self in order to convert her to Secondary Narcissistic Supply Source (SNSS) and to put her to the test (will she abandon/humiliate/betray him once she discovers the falsity of his self?).

This phase successfully over, the girl is a full-fledged SNSS and decides to remain with the narcissist. But he is unlikely to believe her decision. His False Self, though, is satisfied by the SNSS and "exits". It is not likely to re-enter unless there is a problem with the unperturbed flow of Narcissistic Supply.

The Wunderkind mask takes over. Its main goal is to avoid or to mitigate the consequences of an assured future emotional injury.

It permits the development of emotional involvement but in such a distorted and warped manner that this combination (Wunderkind mask in front – False Self in the background) does indeed lead to betrayal and to the abandonment of the narcissist.

The bridge connecting the two – the False Self and Wunderkind mask – is made of their common preference. They both prefer adulation to love.

Another example: the narcissist gets a job in a new workplace or meets a new group of people in social circumstances. At first, he uses his False Self with the aim of obtaining Primary Narcissistic Supply Source (PNSS), (demonstrating uniqueness). This he does by displaying his intellect and knowledge. Once this phase is over the narcissist believes that his superiority is established with a constant Narcissistic Supply and narcissistic accumulation attaching thereto. His False Self is satisfied and exits the scene. It will not re-assume its position unless the Narcissistic Supply is threatened.

It is the turn of the Wunderkind mask. Its goal is to allow for the establishment of some emotional involvement without suffering the results of an assured emotional hurt or trauma. Again this underlying falsity, this infantilism, provoke rejection, the dismantling of the narcissist's social frameworks and groups, and the abandonment of the narcissist.

To summarise:

The narcissist has a post-traumatic personality with tough, sadistic, and rigidly punishing ideal Superego (SEGO).

This contributes to the weakening and subsequent disintegration of the True Ego (TEGO).

The same pathology makes the narcissist create a "mask": the False Ego (FEGO).

Its aim is to reach emotional autarky and to avoid assured emotional injuries.

The FEGO prefers adulation, attention, or even fear to a mature adult love relationship.

FEGO is responsible to obtain PNSS and SNSS.

Adulation is secured by displaying superior qualities (intellect and knowledge, in the case of the cerebral narcissist).

Love and intimacy are perceived as threats.

When the target selected by the FEGO is successfully converted into a Narcissistic Source of Supply (NSS) and does not abandon ship in the first few encounters – the narcissist begins to develop a kind of emotional correlate and there is some affective investment with the corollary of an assured emotional hurt in the future. Even if nothing external happens, the SEGO always attacks the object and makes it abandon the narcissist. The SEGO does it because this is the way it chooses to punish the narcissist.

Anticipating this painful and (potentially) life-threatening phase, the narcissist activates another mask: the Wunderkind mask. This mask does allow for emotional supply to filter into the narcissistic fortress while maintaining impenetrable and successful defences against emotional injury.

Put together, though, these masks cause the very conflicts that they are intended to prevent, the very losses that they are intended to defend against, the very dysphoria, which they were supposed to eliminate.

Their combined action leads to the necessity to allocate libido to FEGO to obtain new PNSS and SNSS – and the cycle begins anew.

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